It is now possible for researchers to study the behavior of young children in an attempt to predict whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent do you think crime is determined by genetics? Is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

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Technology is well advanced that personality traits in children can be analysed with the aid of genetic study whereby any criminal characteristics are detected at an early phase.I completely adhere to the point that chromosomal patterns can influence negatively
break
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apply
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the law and with timely detection,
this
Linking Words
can be controlled by proper support from the regulators.
To begin
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with, scientists claim that some individuals are born with certain characteristic chromosomes which will trigger them to respond to a problem in an adverse manner. To explain
further
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,people who possess temper issues tend to react violently even to petty issues and cannot control their emotions because of these genetic deficiencies.
Furthermore
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, it is said that the food consumed during the pregnancy can alter the behaviour of a newborn indirectly even though the parents
are having
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a clean background. To instantiate, as per a survey conducted in India, the populace who consume a large
quantity
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number
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of non-vegetarian menus tend to showcase violet emotional patterns compared to vegetarians.
However
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, the above-mentioned problem can be solved to a great extent by
timely
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the timely
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identification of these traits in children and
provision
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the provision
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of rehabilitation support. To illustrate, kindergarten teachers in the United Kingdom are trained to identify students with these behavioural issues and inform child support whereby they can approach these
wards
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ward's
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families and initiate necessary measures.
Moreover
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, the health authorities can initiate awareness programmes for pregnant women to attend counselling sessions in order to help them control the consumption of
health hazardous
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health-hazardous
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items like cigarettes and drugs. To be more clear, healthcare should provide free prenatal courses for every pregnant woman, and special care for ladies from a criminal background . In conclusion, I am strongly content with the fact that genetics play a pivotal role in criminal tendency and these can be altered by a timely intervention from the system.

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Task Achievement
Clarify the connection between genetics and crime in your introduction. This will help set the stage for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly states its main point at the beginning. This adds clarity for the reader and strengthens your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims, especially regarding genetic influence and crime prevention measures. More detailed evidence will enhance your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance coherence and make your writing more engaging.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the issue regarding genetics and criminal behavior.
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples of interventions that can prevent criminal behavior in children, which adds depth to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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