IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Modern building change the character and appearance of towns and cities. The government should insist that new buildings be built in traditional styles to protect cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#change #character #appearance #towns #cities #government #buildings #styles #identity
Nowadays contemporary
arhitecture
Correct your spelling
architecture
 alters shape, sizes and colours. The world is changing, so is building.
That is
 why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I completely disagree authorities need to defend their point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 that emerging infrastructure is being built exceptionally in
old
Add an article
the old
an old
show examples
 style. Though it is crucial indeed to protect and rebuild existing cultural
architecture
. Undoubtedly, cultural heritage is an essential part of history for every citizen. Needless to say, it is important to restore memorials of
architecture
 and take care of existing constructions.
However
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should not prevent
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 to develop because it is human nature to make progress ,
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 quality of life and create new history.
Hence
,
architecture
 built in the past and innovative
constraction
Correct your spelling
construction
 may well
coexict
Correct your spelling
coexist
co-exist
 and complement together. To illustrate, there are two types of buildings in Russia, Moscow.
For example
, St.Nickolas located near
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
 Red Square was restored and now is being used as a
laxury
Correct your spelling
luxury
 hotel.
Samontaniously
Correct your spelling
Spontaneously
, there is a
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
 piece of
architecture
 so-called Moscow city shaped in different forms a which attracts plenty of local and international tourists. What is more, authorities might come up with another way to defend cultural identification.
For instance
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 could create more free museums and exhibitions in restored buildings in order for children and adults to be attracted to learn their culture better and get more versatile. According to a survey conducted in 2010 in a Moscow university, students would be interested in traditional culture and
architecture
 but they were not provided
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 opportunities to know them better. To conclude, without any doubt, it is vital to protect and restore cultural constructions built in the past.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, it is
also
 highly important to develop and improve contemporary buildings. Probably, it would be a good decision to start taking notice
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
spiritual
Correct article usage
the spiritual
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of individuals, attracting local people to get better their cultural heritage.
Submitted by Lera93.smol on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: