IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage if money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Describe both these views and give your own openion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #openion
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Within our entire
life
Use synonyms
, we meet
both
Use synonyms
 good
times
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 and bad
times
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as a result
Linking Words
 of our activities and the results of negligence.
However
Linking Words
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society think that we have to accept the hard situations while others
think
Add the particle
tothink
show examples
 manage every situation if those are bad, with our effort. I personally believe that
both
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 of these views are true and within
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss
both
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. On one hand, it is important to accept hard situations in our
life
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 because it teaches lessons
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are not forever forgotten by us.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can understand
people
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 who are with us when we facing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Usually
Add a comma
,Usually
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 don’t like to help others, those who are in trouble. Even though always like to be with them if they have enough recourse. It is advisable to stay away from that kind of
people
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 because sometimes we face problems due to their selfishness while dealing with
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
 of
people
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in school
time
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 of me, I faced
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of financial problems while most of our relations avoid us and only one of my aunts helped me, so today I’m only dealing with her.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have to overcome the bad situation to get a successful
life
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 while it increases confidence for future targets.
People
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 pass hard
times
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 because
not
Change preposition
of not
show examples
 only our acts but
also
Linking Words
 other environmental factors which we can’t change. So we have to stay strong and try as best to move from hard to good as soon as possible.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
show examples
 persons in the world had passed
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 of
time
Use synonyms
 with
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 and they overcome that
time
Use synonyms
 with their effort and become rich.
Finally
Linking Words
, I want to say,
life
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 is not passing smooth, so we have
both
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 bad and good
times
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. So we have to accept
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 hard
time
Use synonyms
 and work hard on it to become
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
Submitted by nipunakane123 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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