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Band 5

Some people believe that technology has led to many positive developments in their lives, while others think technology is gradually taking over control of the way people live. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #developments #lives #control
In
this
 day and age, a group of
people
 assume that
technology
 has visible benefits,
by contrast
,
othes
Correct your spelling
others
 think that modern
technology
 is dominating
people
's regular life. From my point of view,
this
 essay would demonstrate both sides. In recent years,
technology
 has taken a vital role in human society which has mostly replaced dangerous jobs. There are numerous risky jobs
such
 as fireman, police, which modern robots can complete missions easily and efficiently.
Furthermore
, robots could decrease the death toll caused by dangerous workplaces while several researchers have indicated that 20% of
people
 who work in dangerous places might lose their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 each year. In fact, Tesla created an AI which has the same intelligence as humans and they can easily work in toxic conditions or unsafe conditions without errors.
On the other hand
,
although
 there are several benefits since
technology
also
 has considerable drawbacks which have dominated human life. In the modern era, the rise of
technology
 has replaced numerous human careers,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 might lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase in unemployment. In fact, citizens' living standards might improve each year which mostly depend on the development of human society.As a consequence, a large number of employees become starving and poor which
also
 raises crime rates.
Furthermore
, If youngsters are reliant on
technology
, they might lose their creativity and be controlled by toxic videos. In conclusion, despite
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 being a controversial problem, I still believe that
people
 might consider avoiding disadvantages and exploiting advantages
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the reasons above.
Submitted by tranducha161003 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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