IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Arguably, it is believed that concerning the environment's problems only the
ruling-power
Correct your spelling
ruling power
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 and big enterprises are able to solve the conundrum, not the ordinary folk. Personally, I strongly disagree with the view since indoor
pollution
Use synonyms
 counts when assessing the harmful substances released into the atmosphere.
Although
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
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many times the cabinet and its allies seem to be the most indicated to that.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on both sides of the view and provide anecdotal evidence to prove the arguments. On the one hand, individuals implement the local
authorities
Change noun form
authorities'
authority's
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 measures.
In other words
Linking Words
, the contribution is vital to put forward any sort of measures outlined by the regime.
For instance
Linking Words
, in China where
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air
pollution
Use synonyms
,
especial
Change the word
especially
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indoor
pollution
Use synonyms
 was considered to be the worst throughout the out, the local crowd played a vital role
to tackle
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in tackling
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 it since they followed the stricter governments measures
such
Linking Words
 as opening the
households'
Change noun form
households
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 windows when cooking, avoiding the use of firewoods.
As a result
Linking Words
, the amount of carbon emission was significantly cut down
as well as
Linking Words
 it shrunk the local carbon footprints.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the overriding outlet to
vanish
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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indoor
pollution
Use synonyms
 is through inhabitants' contribution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, big companies and the ruling regime are pivotal
to
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in
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 tackling the carbon footprints. Because of the sense of power they possess to design policies and monitor them, they are the key element to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
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 the saga.
For example
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, even if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmentalists and scientists report and advise the
world-powers
Correct your spelling
world powers
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 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental destruction, the
last
Linking Words
 action
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
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 on them.
Hence
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, large enterprises
along with
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 the authorities' actions make
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
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. In conclusion, notwithstanding the great difference
done by
Verb problem
between
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 the large companies and the authorities, the ordinary population has something to say concerning
this
Linking Words
 great battle.
Therefore
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, I still strongly disagree with the view.
In addition
Linking Words
, I recommend the world-power
joins
Correct subject-verb agreement
join
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 efforts to diminish
this
Linking Words
 evil.

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coherence and cohesion
You should provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to address the task prompt directly. Your introduction lacks a precise response to the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a logical structure with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Make sure to link your ideas cohesively, using appropriate transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your argument. However, try to develop these examples further to enhance the depth of your analysis and show a more thorough understanding of the topic.
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