Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, good
behaviour
Use synonyms
is a crucial character in our everyday
life
Use synonyms
all over the world because there is a saying that your
behaviour
Use synonyms
gives your family identity. Anyway, many individuals believe that teaching moral schooling to infants is the commitment of
parents
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
some believe that it is the duty that should
have been
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
done by teachers. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will depict both beliefs and
thus
Linking Words
I will give my opinion
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
. On the one hand, I guess,
parents
Use synonyms
are the elementary
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
of infants and their children are their peers.
For example
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, as we know, from the very beginning of human lives, youngsters used to learn from their father and mother
such
Linking Words
as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
taught their first letter, initial word, primary individuality,
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
family bonding, about connections with their
parents
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as well as
Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have respected to imitate
parents
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in every section of their
life
Use synonyms
. So,
parents
Use synonyms
can easily teach them how would
be
Verb problem
behave
show examples
their
behaviour
Use synonyms
with their older and with their younger.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will have maintained a sound affair with society.
On the other hand
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, there is a saying in our country that school is another home for all learners and educators are the founders of their
life
Use synonyms
. Children have understood from their teachers about
life
Use synonyms
values and decent attitudes.
For instance
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, a group of investigators found that a teacher is 50% liable for raising generous children as they can handily connect to their pupils and students
also
Linking Words
obey their teacher's guidance. If any school
administrations
Fix the agreement mistake
administration
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
they can keep an ethical subject about morals and good
behaviour
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, students must have learned it and one day they will have used it in their rational
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, good
behaviour
Use synonyms
is the root of success.
However
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, different communities have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
viewpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoints
show examples
than
Change preposition
on
show examples
how infants can learn about good
behaviour
Use synonyms
some
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
by
parents
Use synonyms
, some
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
by schooling but I think both would have a responsibility to expand
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
morality to build their
life
Use synonyms
as the best human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
in the community.
Submitted by sporshiajyoti on

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Task Response
Improve task response by directly addressing the prompt and clearly presenting your viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • material possession
  • social experience
  • disposable income
  • tech-savvy
  • convenience
  • fashion trends
  • overconsumption
  • economic stimulation
  • retail industry
  • materialism
  • debt
  • consumer spending
  • browsing
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