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Band 4

‏Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#‏crime #concern #believe #action #crime
Criminal activities are
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
 concern and it impacts the security and safety of
people
. Some
people
 think that significant
changes
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be made in our law enforcement process,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 some might think that with small
changes
 the system will work properly. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides with supportive examples and
also
 provide my point of view on it. In India
crimerate
Correct your spelling
crime rate
 is high if we compare it with the developed nations,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is not too high when we compare with other countries,
such
 as Africa, Pakistan, Afghanistan etc. In my opinion, significant
changes
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be implemented to make
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 police department robust. On one hand,
people
 think more
changes
required
Add a missing verb
are required
show examples
 to improve.
Changes
 like
,
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apply
show examples
 making the department
streamline
Replace the word
streamlined
show examples
,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the number
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 policemen,
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
 hand should be given to law enforcement
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 to fight against crimes, strict punishment should be given to avoid repeated crimes.
For example
, In
USA
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the USA
show examples
 the
head count
Correct your spelling
headcount
show examples
 of cops are way too high per area
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it is
compaired
Correct your spelling
compared
 with India. More
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 mean
higher
Add an article
the higher
a higher
show examples
 capacity to fight
agains
Correct your spelling
against
 the criminals and eventually the
crimerate
Correct your spelling
crime rate
 will be less.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
 money. We can achieve our goal with a few
changes
. A few
modification
Change to a plural noun
modifications
show examples
 like,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of technology or installing cameras will help
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
show examples
 system. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
investing huge money, some
backword
Correct your spelling
backwards
show examples
 areas in developed countries still have high
crimerate
Correct your spelling
crime rate
crime rates
. As per my understanding, to improve the current situation we have to make exact
changes
, close the system
Correct your spelling
loopholes
show examples
loop holes
Correct your spelling
loopholes
show examples
 and utilise public resources wisely.
Thease
Correct your spelling
These
changes
 will lead our nation towards
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 and secure India. To sum up, it is obvious that
changes
 are required and either they are small or major. Any thoughtful and wise effort will not go unnoticed.
Submitted by sony.bansi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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