nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in store. do benefits outweigh the drawbacks

#store

In the current era, the

internet

gives many beneficial aspects to communities with the establishment of

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

marketplace

Change the noun form

marketplaces

show examples

such

as amazon and

alibaba

Change the capitalization

Alibaba

show examples

. Personally, These things provide a wide range of benefits and will be able to replace the popularity of the physical market from society.

To begin

with, there are a large number of advantages, which bring beneficial impact for society.

Firstly

, on the

internet

people

would not be charged for rent and taxes,

thus

it will influence

the products values

Change to a genitive case

the values of the product

the values of the products

show examples

For example

, a person who purchases a jacket on Amazon might get cheaper prices than buying in Shopping Mall

Change preposition

apply

show examples

downtown.

Hence

, the delivery system is acceptable for many

people

As a result

, more individuals tend to obtain a large amount of stuff online.

In addition

this

environment is advantageous to merchants as well. Merchants will be able to expand their market overseas with online network assistance.

For instance

, apparel’s products from Indonesia will reach more buyers from different continents.

Moreover

, effortless transactions processes will elevate the trust of

internet

retail.

However

this

phenomenon is not applicable to individuals who have no access to the

internet

such

people

who live in remote areas without

internet

connections. In conclusion, the

internet

gives many benefits for many individuals worldwide

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and will lead to a social shift about shopping in the future without any doubt.

However

, some

people

in particular

areas are not eligible to enjoy

this

phenomenon due to connections. In my opinion, governments should support and encourage their citizens to apply

internet

shopping and expand

internet

connectivity to remote areas.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Feb 20 2022

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
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6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Varied vocabulary

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Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

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nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in store. do benefits outweigh the drawbacks

Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantage or disadvantage to a country?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.