IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sports #effect #education #teenagers
A group of individuals believe that competition in sport could have good advantages on the education of youngsters but at the same ,time others believe that the are drawbacks. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will agree with the group that believes in the positive effects. For starting,
sports
, in general, have benefits in people of all ages unless you have a medical condition that could risk your health. In ,
teenagers
Add the comma(s)
,teenagers
show examples
 it is known that physical activities are helpful to handle stress and
then
 with social and academic success in life. Competitive
sports
 encourage the youngest to give the best of their selves while building discipline and helping them to set goals and learn from their mistakes. Most of the students who belong to a
sports
 team develop self-confidence and teamwork, which is very valuable social attributes for life.Nowadays these are the values that we need for our society.
On the other hand
, many people believe that teenagers develop rivalry and bad behaviour violence, at the same time that makes them lose their focus in order to accomplish with their academic responsibilities In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I believe is completely important to develop determination and discipline in younger and competitive
sports
 can help with that.
Submitted by eriujaldon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: