IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #care
We can’t generalize the idea of all people neglecting the environmental problems, because it depends on the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
communities
 and their knowledge. The environmental consciousness differs among
countries
, and
this
 depends on several factors
such
 as community awareness, economic development, and governmental policies. Environmentally friendly
countries
 are
countries
 doing the most to protect the environment and working on having the least negative environmental impacts.
Moreover
, these
countries
 are investing in increasing the knowledge and awareness of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
communities
 against the harmful impacts related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues and it would affect the future generation. These
communities
 are believing in sustainability and how to meet our own needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs, that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 they care about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues. South Korea is an example of
environmentally
Correct article usage
an environmentally
show examples
 friendly country since they are following a circular economy
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 aims to
minimizes
Change the verb
minimize
show examples
 the total waste and utilize the most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resources
Correct pronoun usage
its resources
show examples
.
As a result
, South Korea have a very
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 recycling system, not only used in the industrial
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 but even
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
applied in the household. The Korean government were able to teach and educate their citizens and
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
 how to follow the rules of the system and how to apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
On the other hand
, other
communities
 are missing the basic knowledge related to environmental issues,
such
 as types of pollution. Mostly
this
Change the determiner
this community
these communities
show examples
communities
are belonged
Change to the active voice
belong
have belonged
show examples
 to developing
countries
, which
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 more on how to build their economy rather than preserving the environment. The governments of these
countries
 should start educating their people and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 their level of environmental awareness.
Moreover
, they must implement
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 policies on both the industrial and residential fields with apply some penalties and fines to motivate their people to apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by MeMo 2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • immediate needs
  • connect with
  • distant
  • abstract
  • economic considerations
  • growing awareness
  • active participation
  • initiatives
  • movements
  • impacts
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: