Some people say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are tremendously controversial perspectives heating up a debate over
sports
and recreational
activities
. While some claim
hold
Change the verb form
holds
show examples
a strong view that playing
sports
has a significant role within society, the opposite
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
a statement that it is simply an activity that people do for leisure.
Although
each has its own perks, I would contend that it is ideal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt,
sports
play a paramount significant role in our daily
life
. Doing
sports
is the main drive to our good health and
minimum
Replace the word
minimize
show examples
health risks. Playing
sports
can help us become more and more energetic, avoid heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
and revamp our stamina, muscular strength and especially
respiratory
Correct article usage
the respiratory
show examples
system.
For example
, swimming not only assists
improving
Change preposition
in improving
show examples
stamina and muscular strength but
also
creates abundant necessary skills in dangerous situations.
Hence
, doing exercises is indispensable in our
life
. Despite the significance of
sports
, it is unfair if the important advantages of amusing
activities
are ignored.
Although
leisure
activities
have a great many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advantages, I think relaxing is the main
contribution
Replace the word
contributor
show examples
to its significance because all entertaining
activities
play an indispensable role in helping us blow off some steam and relax .
For instance
, hanging out with friends supports us recharge our batteries and releases stress after a strenuous day. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think
recreational
Add an article
the recreational
a recreational
show examples
activity is one of the most important
activities
in our
life
. In conclusion, both
sports
and leisure
activities
tremendously impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
life
.
Therefore
,
combination
Add an article
a combination
the combination
show examples
of these two perspectives is an ideal option.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: