Many of the problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

Linking Words

modern scenario,many individuals are experiencing plenty of difficulties because they have to do numerous works by sitting at only one place.

as a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can be inactive and unhealthy,

therefore

Linking Words

I completely accord with

this

Linking Words

statement.

this

Linking Words

essay will go into better detail with my subject view. To embark on,the advances in technology have been increasing by leaps and bounds,

thus

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it enables many amenities in terms of many apps available in the systems.

consequently

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,multitudes can rely on the internet which ensures entertainment as well as healthier lifestyle with their friends and relatives,so many

people

Use synonyms

prefer to stick their mobiles

instead

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of going outside.

moreover

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,multitudes tend to

playing

Change the verb form

play

show examples

indoor games on mobiles rather than outdoor games,

then

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it will

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

in diseases related to

Correct your spelling

weight gain

show examples

weight-gain

Correct your spelling

weight gain

show examples

for instance

Linking Words

,according to the survey,the number of

people

Use synonyms

are unemployed,so they are always staying at home by sitting like an idle,

then

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they immediately go to bed after having

a food

Remove the article

food

a portion of food

show examples

this

Linking Words

also

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one reason to become fat. On another hand,nowadays,the most of jobs involved with desks works.

for example

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,mostly IT departments rely on the internet,

therefore

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they have to do work

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of their desks for long hours.

consequently

Linking Words

,they might have suffered from problems

such

Linking Words

as obesity and diabetes as well as high blood pressure.

for example

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,during the corona pandemic,there was a lockdown,so the government kept

a strict restrictions

Correct the article-noun agreement

strict restrictions

a strict restriction

show examples

like sticking to their homes,

thus

Linking Words

at that moment,

people

Use synonyms

used to do their office work through the internet at their houses. To conclude,

although

Linking Words

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle has problems,many individuals follow

this

Linking Words

lifestyle in terms of using phones rather than going outside to play games and eating food,

therefore

Linking Words

everyone should try to do other activities.

anushachenna15Tue Feb 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

266 words

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Many of the problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

discuss the both sides of the culture shock that people can encounter this situation

2- Playing computer games only has negative effects on children

TODAY, THERE IS MORE AND MORE COMPETITION FOR GETTIND INTO UNIVERSITY. iS THIS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT.

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.

Public celebrations (festivals, national day) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important issues. Do you agree or disagree?