Many of the problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #today’s #world #fact #lifestyle

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this

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modern scenario,many individuals are experiencing plenty of difficulties because they have to do numerous works by sitting at only one place.

as a result

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people

Use synonyms

can be inactive and unhealthy,

therefore

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I completely accord with

this

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statement.

this

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essay will go into better detail with my subject view. To embark on,the advances in technology have been increasing by leaps and bounds,

thus

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it enables many amenities in terms of many apps available in the systems.

consequently

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,multitudes can rely on the internet which ensures entertainment as well as healthier lifestyle with their friends and relatives,so many

people

Use synonyms

prefer to stick their mobiles

instead

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of going outside.

moreover

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,multitudes tend to

playing

Change the verb form

play

show examples

indoor games on mobiles rather than outdoor games,

then

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it will

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

in diseases related to

Correct your spelling

weight gain

show examples

weight-gain

Correct your spelling

weight gain

show examples

for instance

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,according to the survey,the number of

people

Use synonyms

are unemployed,so they are always staying at home by sitting like an idle,

then

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they immediately go to bed after having

a food

Remove the article

food

a portion of food

show examples

this

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also

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one reason to become fat. On another hand,nowadays,the most of jobs involved with desks works.

for example

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,mostly IT departments rely on the internet,

therefore

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they have to do work

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of their desks for long hours.

consequently

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,they might have suffered from problems

such

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as obesity and diabetes as well as high blood pressure.

for example

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,during the corona pandemic,there was a lockdown,so the government kept

a strict restrictions

Correct the article-noun agreement

strict restrictions

a strict restriction

show examples

like sticking to their homes,

thus

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at that moment,

people

Use synonyms

used to do their office work through the internet at their houses. To conclude,

although

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sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle has problems,many individuals follow

this

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lifestyle in terms of using phones rather than going outside to play games and eating food,

therefore

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everyone should try to do other activities.

Submitted by anushachenna15 on Tue Feb 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

266 words

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Many of the problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Society is becoming obsessed with material good like cars, designer clothes and jewellery. We have stopped carrying about the important things and that is why divorce rates are so high. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Animal testing has always been controversial issue. Some people believe that governments should ban these practices completely. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?