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Band 4.5

Many of the problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #today’s #world #fact #lifestyle
In
this
 modern scenario,many individuals are experiencing plenty of difficulties because they have to do numerous works by sitting at only one place.
as a result
,
people
 can be inactive and unhealthy,
therefore
 I completely accord with
this
 statement.
this
 essay will go into better detail with my subject view. To embark on,the advances in technology have been increasing by leaps and bounds,
thus
 it enables many amenities in terms of many apps available in the systems.
consequently
,multitudes can rely on the internet which ensures entertainment as well as healthier lifestyle with their friends and relatives,so many
people
 prefer to stick their mobiles
instead
 of going outside.
moreover
,multitudes tend to
playing
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 indoor games on mobiles rather than outdoor games,
then
 it will
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in diseases related to
Correct your spelling
weight gain
show examples
weight-gain
Correct your spelling
weight gain
show examples
.
for instance
,according to the survey,the number of
people
 are unemployed,so they are always staying at home by sitting like an idle,
then
 they immediately go to bed after having
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
,
this
 is
also
 one reason to become fat. On another hand,nowadays,the most of jobs involved with desks works.
for example
,mostly IT departments rely on the internet,
therefore
 they have to do work
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of their desks for long hours.
consequently
,they might have suffered from problems
such
 as obesity and diabetes as well as high blood pressure.
for example
,during the corona pandemic,there was a lockdown,so the government kept
a strict restrictions
Correct the article-noun agreement
strict restrictions
a strict restriction
show examples
 like sticking to their homes,
thus
 at that moment,
people
 used to do their office work through the internet at their houses. To conclude,
although
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle has problems,many individuals follow
this
 lifestyle in terms of using phones rather than going outside to play games and eating food,
therefore
 everyone should try to do other activities.
Submitted by anushachenna15 on

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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