Many of the problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
modern scenario,many individuals are experiencing plenty of difficulties because they have to do numerous works by sitting at only one place.
as a result
,
people
can be inactive and unhealthy,
therefore
I completely accord with
this
statement.
this
essay will go into better detail with my subject view. To embark on,the advances in technology have been increasing by leaps and bounds,
thus
it enables many amenities in terms of many apps available in the systems.
consequently
,multitudes can rely on the internet which ensures entertainment as well as healthier lifestyle with their friends and relatives,so many
people
prefer to stick their mobiles
instead
of going outside.
moreover
,multitudes tend to
playing
Change the verb form
play
show examples
indoor games on mobiles rather than outdoor games,
then
it will
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in diseases related to
Correct your spelling
weight gain
show examples
weight-gain
Correct your spelling
weight gain
show examples
.
for instance
,according to the survey,the number of
people
are unemployed,so they are always staying at home by sitting like an idle,
then
they immediately go to bed after having
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
,
this
is
also
one reason to become fat. On another hand,nowadays,the most of jobs involved with desks works.
for example
,mostly IT departments rely on the internet,
therefore
they have to do work
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of their desks for long hours.
consequently
,they might have suffered from problems
such
as obesity and diabetes as well as high blood pressure.
for example
,during the corona pandemic,there was a lockdown,so the government kept
a strict restrictions
Correct the article-noun agreement
strict restrictions
a strict restriction
show examples
like sticking to their homes,
thus
at that moment,
people
used to do their office work through the internet at their houses. To conclude,
although
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle has problems,many individuals follow
this
lifestyle in terms of using phones rather than going outside to play games and eating food,
therefore
everyone should try to do other activities.
Submitted by anushachenna15 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: