IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#year #school #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays students' approach to
further
Linking Words
 education is changing and
one
Use synonyms
 of them is to take a gap
year
Use synonyms
 after
graduation
Add an article
the graduation
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
school
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will define
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of 12
months
Replace the word
monthly
show examples
 gap between
school
Use synonyms
 and institute.
Firstly
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 off makes students' life more effective and it
strengthen
Change the verb form
strengthens
show examples
 the bond between parents and youngsters.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 while studying at
school
Use synonyms
 the young are buried
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their books and do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to relax passing
time
Use synonyms
 with their family members. A gap
year
Use synonyms
 enables them to Cram or
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
 intensively until they know the subject inside out. At the same
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 they may have a rest by sufficing
time
Use synonyms
 with their loved ones and have some space from studies. Another benefit is the opportunity to travel and
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 a lifelong profession. Some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 lose control over everything studying hard for exams and do not know what they want or where
submit
Fix the infinitive
to submit
show examples
 their documents. In
this
Linking Words
 case, a
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 vacation helps them to travel around the world, refresh their mind as well as find their own position. As the result, they realise which sphere is suitable for them and decide with
opting
Wrong verb form
opt
show examples
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 university. Turning to the drawbacks,
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 main
one
Use synonyms
 is
misusage
Correct article usage
the misusage
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 vacation.
This
Linking Words
 can have catastrophic effects not only for youth
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for society. Youngsters who are completely free from any academic stuff can indulge themselves in other activities
such
Linking Words
 as virtual games or bullying. It leads to some health problems with eyesight,
besides
Linking Words
 that bullying grows
criminal
Correct article usage
the criminal
show examples
 rate in the area. As
Add a hyphen
bad-tempered
show examples
bad- tempered
Correct your spelling
bad-tempered
show examples
 behaviour disrupts people around and
accelerate
Change the verb form
accelerates
show examples
 violence, the young may commit a crime unconsciously. To sum up, it depends on individuals how to spend their 365 days leave after
school
Use synonyms
.
It
Correct your spelling
If
show examples
 they use their
time
Use synonyms
in
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
show examples
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
the appropriate
show examples
 way, it has lucrative effects.
However
Linking Words
, the misusage of
this
Linking Words
 period may have some destructive repercussions.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: