IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As countries become more industrialised, more people move from the countryside into urban areas. What are some problems caused by this and how can we solve them?

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Progressive
Correct article usage
The progressive
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 development of countries
are
Change the verb form
is
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 causing mass betrayal of the countryside, resulting in more populated urban
areas
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. Many difficulties occur in regards to
this
Linking Words
 problem.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the rise of hardships of
people
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 moving out of the countryside ,
aswell
Correct your spelling
as well
 as the solutions that might
pervent
Correct your spelling
prevent
 overpopulation in rural places. The main difficulty is as society progressively gets more marginalised, the
city
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 will continuously build infrastructures that disable the
people
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 to live in safe conditions
,
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apply
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 since there are too many buildings that occupy the space for citizens. Even though
this
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 will definitely increase the economic status and maybe provide more income to the residents, it still does a great amount of damage to the living conditions of the public.
For instance
Linking Words
, discomfort in travelling around the
city
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, since it is built to benefit organisations
instead
Linking Words
 of the commodities to the working class. Another serious issue
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 constant
emition
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emission
emotion
 of gasses and pollution, that are continuously turning the
citt
Correct your spelling
city
site
 into a toxic wasteland, which leads
people
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 from urban
areas
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 to never want to get a job or even visit the
city
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 as it is
health damaging
Add a hyphen
health-damaging
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. The solution for the
first
Linking Words
 problem can be surrounding the
city
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 with small businesses and leaving giant organisations in a modest setting, not to interfere with other small businesses. Other solutions can include: having accessible transport from all
city
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 points to keep a balance in the urban and
city
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 life. Regarding the environmental difficulties , constructing more parks and botanical gardens is crucial, not only will it attract
people
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 from rural
areas
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,
Add the word(s)
but ,
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it is
also
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 a breath of fresh air for local residents. To sum up, a great
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
people
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 are leaving to urban
areas
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 because of the rapid growth of
city
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 life,
thus
Linking Words
 creating problems on both sides of the spectrum.
Although
Linking Words
 these causes are preventable in the future, they may develop into something detrimental and even deadly if not taken care of quickly.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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