A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In
this
day and age, people
judge the other person
based upon their social status
and materialistic possessions. The traditional values such
as honour, kindness and trust become an unimportant things
when it comes to Correct the article-noun agreement
an unimportant thing
unimportant things
judge
Change the verb form
judging
other
Change the wording
another person
other people
person
. I strongly disagree with this
trend because I think this
should not be the criteria to judge someone's worth.
In the last
few years, the truth about respect
Wrong verb form
respecting
person
with Fix the agreement mistake
people
higher
level Add an article
a higher
on
social Change preposition
of
status
has increased. In my opinion, this
phenomenon is supported by the growth of social media
that can be accessed by everyone from different
Add an article
the different
a different
level
on social Fix the agreement mistake
levels
status
. People
are craving for
Change preposition
apply
praises
and honour, and social Fix the agreement mistake
praise
media
has became
a perfect place to show their “perfect” life easily to everyone around the world. Every Change the verb form
become
person
on social media
tend to follow a person
who has a good quality of content
(Add an article
the content
such
as nature-travelling around the world, luxurious things, and many more), and it is mostly come out from the person
who has higher social status
. Not a few person
I know that willing to do anything out of their real-life conditions just to be seen on social Change to a plural noun
people
media
, hence
at this
point, honesty become much less important in terms of respect.
Apart from that, the real society outside social media
is supporting the ideas
of Fix the agreement mistake
idea
respect
someone based on their wealth. Wrong verb form
respecting
For instance
, sharing my personal experience, some of the people
in my social organization only care about people
who have more money
when it comes to making decisions. It seems like money
has bigger power to urge people
to do something. Hence
, this
proves that money
is more important in the eyes of people
.
To conclude, the reasons I stated below is describing why a person
's worth is judged upon the
societal Correct article usage
apply
status
and materialistic possessions. Nowadays the old fashioned values are having a
less attention and I totally disagree with it. As per me, these values or attributes are reflecting someone’s Remove the article
apply
truly
is, while Replace the word
truth
money
is just an outside factors
that Correct the article-noun agreement
factor
temporarily
attached to a Add a missing verb
is temporarily
person
.Submitted by nadita.ayudya on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite