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Band 5

. Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always good. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

#people #lives #changes #change
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
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 have been living in
at
Correct your spelling
a
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 rapidly transformed modern society. Some
people
 hope to maintain a refined lifestyle without any changes.
However
, others firmly assert that trying
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new things
such
 as working at
new
Add an article
a new
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 company can allow citizens to lead a better quality of life.
This
 essay will discuss why enjoying novel changes is significantly beneficial for modern
people
. According to opponents of the argument pursuing unique challenges for their lives,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
normal life can protect citizens' strong physical and mental conditions. Modern
people
 have heavily been exposed to dangerous conditions that can get tons of stress, which lead to detrimental diseases
both
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in both
show examples
 physical and mental health. In the united states, doctors demonstrated that citizens get serious stress when they adapt to new places and strangers, which makes them depressed and anxious.
That is
 why remaining
their
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in their
show examples
 refined lifestyle allows them to stay
health
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healthy
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.
However
, others claim that those who prefer to frequently change their plans can have beneficial influences on their stable
future
. In Korea, psychologists announced that a majority of
people
 are frightful to encounter their failure after challenging something new.
This
 is because they tend to avoid challenging unique things
such
 as changing their jobs.
However
,
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
aging
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ageing
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 society, there
is
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are
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 no fixed occupations even though
people
 work at only a firm. After retirement, they are to live more than 30 years because a life expectancy significantly
rise
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rises
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 than in the past.
That is
 why by challenging diverse lives,
people
 can afford to keep their physical and mental health conditions in modern society by working diverse jobs to aside money for the
future
. In conclusion, it is true that modern
people
 have been consistently living with
rapidly
Correct article usage
a rapidly
show examples
 transformed era. While some
people
 struggle to stay fixed
their
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in their
show examples
 daily routine,
i
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I
show examples
 perfectly argue that not avoiding challenges for the
future
 is better for
people
 to lead
flourish
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flourishing
show examples
 lives by releasing financial
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
 and
asiding
Correct your spelling
aside
 money for the
future
.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • mastery
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • hesitancy
  • risk-taking
  • transitions
  • enrichment
  • equilibrium
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