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Band 5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
Crime has become an acute issue today, with the advancement of science and technology
the
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apply
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society has become corrupted and, the
criminal
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crime
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 rate has up surged
in
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on
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 a large scale. To tackle
this
, a section suggests longer
prison
 terms while others believe that alternative measures are the best way to mitigate crimes. Poverty and ignorance are the key main factors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 lead one’s mind
in to
Join the words
into
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 criminal activities. According to some people, the best solution is to lock criminals up for longer, keeping society out of danger.
This
 is the method used by most countries today. Since they believe that, punishing offenders with longer
prison
 sentences
helps
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help
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 to invoke fear among other criminals. Because if a is already aware of the intensity of punishment before committing any, it will deter him to do an illegal act. According to
others
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others'
other's
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 points of view,
prison
 is not a deterrent for most forms of offending. Because after they are released, society tends to judge released prisoners more harshly, before they went to
the
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apply
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prison
. So
this
 situation encourages them to think
with
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about
show examples
 illegal activities again and again.
Therefore
,
instead
 of extending imprisonment; prisoner’s
mind
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minds
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 and attitudes should be reformed against reoffending after
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being released
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released
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release
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. So they should be undergone
through
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apply
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counseling
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counselling
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 programs, meditation programs and skill development workshops as well. In my view, I agree the alternative measures, would be more effective rather than
sentence
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sentencing
show examples
 long term
imprisonments
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imprisonment
show examples
 in most situations. The best way to tackle
this
 complication is,
giving
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give
show examples
 good command of education. For
an
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apply
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example, in Sweden
educations
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education
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 is for everyone and
country’s
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the country’s
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 authority is facilitating more employment opportunities,
therefore
 Sweden tops the list of peaceful countries. In conclusion,
although
,
lock
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locking
show examples
 up un societies for a long time, seem to be the best way to mitigate the crime level; it is not the exact solution for the problem.
Therefore
 governments have to
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
 for search the root cause and
treat
Wrong verb form
treating
show examples
 it, in order to create a peaceful world.
Submitted by thilini.da.a on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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