Nowadays celebrities are more famous their glamour and wealth than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people, what extent do you agree or disagree

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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Present,famous names are known by their charm and opulence than their accomplishments and

this

Linking Words

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

a bad instance to the

youth

Use synonyms

generation. I completely agree with the statement that celebrities are a very bad example to the

youth

Use synonyms

with their richness and fascination.

Firstly

Linking Words

famous

Add an article

the famous

a famous

show examples

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

should behave responsibly because they exert an enormous influence on teenagers.if they forget their responsibilities,it would consist wrong examples for

youth

Use synonyms

in my country every young person generally want for earn money as notables but, most of them can not reach their goals. they might be disappointed in their life travel celebrities are always in the spotlight.everybody

curious

Add a missing verb

is curious

show examples

about their opulence and way of

living

Add an article

the living

show examples

.success of

famous

Correct article usage

the famous

show examples

should be exampled

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

youth

Correct article usage

the youth

show examples

.young

people

Use synonyms

need positive role models in order to live with hope,integrity and compassion.

For instance

Linking Words

,some of the reputable

people

Use synonyms

contribute a few charity commissions as they act like

this

Linking Words

,young

people

Use synonyms

could see that you can be very successful and a very good person of the same time

secondly

Linking Words

,some

people

Use synonyms

say that a celebrities job is to entertain

people

Use synonyms

not to set a moral example.

this

Linking Words

is time but not exact.everybody has a job but all

people

Use synonyms

can not be seen by the public.they are stars.they should be role models. in conclusion,famous

people

Use synonyms

should be good examples for the

youth

Use synonyms

generation.

thus

Linking Words

they would contribute to the country's human quality

Submitted by ssunay2001 on Thu Feb 24 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous their glamour and wealth than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people, what extent do you agree or disagree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea ora waste of time?

Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have changed your job describe your new job tell him/her your other news Write at least 150 words

The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disage?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?