Nowadays celebrities are more famous their glamour and wealth than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people, what extent do you agree or disagree

Present,famous names are known by their charm and opulence than their accomplishments and
this
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
a bad instance to the
youth
generation. I completely agree with the statement that celebrities are a very bad example to the
youth
with their richness and fascination.
Firstly
,
famous
Add an article
the famous
a famous
show examples
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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should behave responsibly because they exert an enormous influence on teenagers.if they forget their responsibilities,it would consist wrong examples for
youth
in my country every young person generally want for earn money as notables but, most of them can not reach their goals. they might be disappointed in their life travel celebrities are always in the spotlight.everybody
curious
Add a missing verb
is curious
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about their opulence and way of
living
Add an article
the living
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.success of
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
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should be exampled
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
.young
people
need positive role models in order to live with hope,integrity and compassion.
For instance
,some of the reputable
people
contribute a few charity commissions as they act like
this
,young
people
could see that you can be very successful and a very good person of the same time
secondly
,some
people
say that a celebrities job is to entertain
people
not to set a moral example.
this
is time but not exact.everybody has a job but all
people
can not be seen by the public.they are stars.they should be role models. in conclusion,famous
people
should be good examples for the
youth
generation.
thus
they would contribute to the country's human quality
Submitted by ssunay2001 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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