IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case #self
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These day
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
, plenty of people believe that working
undercontrol
Correct your spelling
under control
 is not the trend. They prefer
run
Add the particle
to run
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 their
business
Use synonyms
 to work for
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
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. Self-employed as an entrepreneur is one of the options.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the trend and the disadvantages of being self-employed. The main reason that many people want to work for their
company
Use synonyms
 desire
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 flexibility.
Vision
Correct article usage
The vision
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, purpose and goal of their
business
Use synonyms
 are determined by themselves. They have no interruption when they are developing their
company
Use synonyms
 because all of the decisions are on their hand.
For instance
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, the agricultural
business
Use synonyms
 entrepreneur can choose to be a different one because they can raise their
business
Use synonyms
 to be
sustainable
Add an article
a sustainable
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company
Use synonyms
 that emphasize their
product
Use synonyms
 on
organic
Add an article
the organic
an organic
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product
Use synonyms
 rather than to be a usual
company
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 that sell their
product
Use synonyms
 as
market
Add an article
the market
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 wants without added value. It can be different if employees have different
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
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with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
company
Use synonyms
. What they can do
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
attempt
Add an article
an attempt
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 to sound their ideas so their leader can know, but
definitely
Add a comma
,definitely
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 the result can not be expected.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working as
individu
Correct article usage
an individu
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 has
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
such
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 as uncertainty of income. Self-employed is not paid periodically because they manage the source of money by themselves.
For example
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,
last
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 month the entrepreneurs sold the
product
Use synonyms
 twice than
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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yesterday, but today the market changes so nothing of the
product
Use synonyms
 is sold.
Moreover
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, there is no
each
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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month
icome
Correct your spelling
income
 that can be predicted.
In addition
Linking Words
 self-employed has a high responsibility, unlike the workers that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a specific job description in
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. Workers have to follow the order and do the instruction. To summarize, the primary reason that many people tend to
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 as individu is flexibility.
However
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, there are many disadvantages
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to their income stability in the future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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