The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#element #person’s #life #work #career

Nowadays having a

job

is one of the most indispensable factors in our lives.

And being

Correct word choice

Being

show examples

happy with what a person does as a career is

also

vital because working with no pleasure moves us to

senseless

Correct article usage

a senseless

show examples

life. In my opinion, being pleased about what people are doing is a high- priority.

To begin

with,

individuals

with their favourite employment are healthier than others. Because they do what makes them happy.

Thus

, they are healthier mentally and psychologically and feel more effective. To exemplify, surveys show that about 90 per cent of employees who experience pleasure

with

Change preposition

show examples

their career have fewer problems in their home and workplace and can deal with the difficulties.

In addition

, working with no delight turns

individuals

into robots.

Due to

this

situation, someones go to work just for earning.

Hence

, they will

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

experience emptiness and

unmotivated

Add a missing verb

be unmotivated

show examples

after some years.

For instance

due to

some recent studies,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employees who have an unrelated

job

with

Change preposition

show examples

their academic training or university degree became less active and more depressed during their ten first of working.

On the other hand

, there are some attitudes toward

this

view too. There are

individuals

who believe that working is just for receiving a salary and do not pay attention to the vital relation between satisfaction and

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

. Because they choose an unrelated

job

with their expertise and interest.

Therefore

, most of these

individuals

are unhappy citizens and sadness

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

them to predicament situation in their work life. To illustrate, they do not have a good relationship with their

colleges

Replace the word

colleagues

show examples

and do not follow the structure of the duties of their firm. In conclusion, in my view,

due to

the unseparated link between employment and someone's life, it is crucial to have a career which makes us feel relaxed and satisfied.

Submitted by nibbana333 on Fri Feb 25 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people work by telecommuting, that is, the employees works from home, using a computer and the internet to connect with the office. what are the advantages and disadvantages of working this way?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

. It is difficult for people who live in cities to get enough physical exercise. What causes and solutions can be taken to solve the problem?

You have bought somne clothing online and not satisfied with your purchase. Write an email to the company that you have bought the clothing from. In your email: - give details of the purchase - explain the problem - explain why you need a replacement urgently.

There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.