The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#element #person’s #life #work #career

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Nowadays having a

job

Use synonyms

is one of the most indispensable factors in our lives.

And being

Correct word choice

Being

show examples

happy with what a person does as a career is

also

Linking Words

vital because working with no pleasure moves us to

senseless

Correct article usage

a senseless

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life. In my opinion, being pleased about what people are doing is a high- priority.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

individuals

Use synonyms

with their favourite employment are healthier than others. Because they do what makes them happy.

Thus

Linking Words

, they are healthier mentally and psychologically and feel more effective. To exemplify, surveys show that about 90 per cent of employees who experience pleasure

with

Change preposition

show examples

their career have fewer problems in their home and workplace and can deal with the difficulties.

In addition

Linking Words

, working with no delight turns

individuals

Use synonyms

into robots.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation, someones go to work just for earning.

Hence

Linking Words

, they will

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

experience emptiness and

unmotivated

Add a missing verb

be unmotivated

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after some years.

For instance

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

some recent studies,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employees who have an unrelated

job

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

show examples

their academic training or university degree became less active and more depressed during their ten first of working.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some attitudes toward

this

Linking Words

view too. There are

individuals

Use synonyms

who believe that working is just for receiving a salary and do not pay attention to the vital relation between satisfaction and

Use synonyms

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

. Because they choose an unrelated

job

Use synonyms

with their expertise and interest.

Therefore

Linking Words

, most of these

individuals

Use synonyms

are unhappy citizens and sadness

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

them to predicament situation in their work life. To illustrate, they do not have a good relationship with their

colleges

Replace the word

colleagues

show examples

and do not follow the structure of the duties of their firm. In conclusion, in my view,

due to

Linking Words

the unseparated link between employment and someone's life, it is crucial to have a career which makes us feel relaxed and satisfied.

Submitted by nibbana333 on Fri Feb 25 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader. Make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes the main points of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. Make sure your examples are relevant to the points you are making.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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