The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays having a
job
is one of the most indispensable factors in our lives. And being
happy with what a person does as a career is Correct word choice
Being
also
vital because working with no pleasure moves us to senseless
life. In my opinion, being pleased about what people are doing is a high- priority.
Correct article usage
a senseless
To begin
with, individuals
with their favourite employment are healthier than others. Because they do what makes them happy. Thus
, they are healthier mentally and psychologically and feel more effective. To exemplify, surveys show that about 90 per cent of employees who experience pleasure with
their career have fewer problems in their home and workplace and can deal with the difficulties. Change preposition
in
In addition
, working with no delight turns individuals
into robots. Due to
this
situation, someones go to work just for earning. Hence
, they will have
experience emptiness and Unnecessary verb
apply
unmotivated
after some years. Add a missing verb
be unmotivated
For instance
, due to
some recent studies, the
employees who have an unrelated Correct article usage
apply
job
with
their academic training or university degree became less active and more depressed during their ten first of working.
Change preposition
to
On the other hand
, there are some attitudes toward this
view too. There are individuals
who believe that working is just for receiving a salary and do not pay attention to the vital relation between satisfaction and job
. Because they choose an unrelated Correct article usage
a job
job
with their expertise and interest. Therefore
, most of these individuals
are unhappy citizens and sadness lead
them to predicament situation in their work life. To illustrate, they do not have a good relationship with their Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
colleges
and do not follow the structure of the duties of their firm.
In conclusion, in my view, Replace the word
colleagues
due to
the unseparated link between employment and someone's life, it is crucial to have a career which makes us feel relaxed and satisfied.Submitted by nibbana333 on
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. Make sure your examples are relevant to the points you are making.
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