Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas, now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the cause for this and what are some solutions?

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Music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is probably one thing that could merge
people
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in various cultures and generations together. From my point of view, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement and I will give reasons in the essay below. Regarding the
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is no boundary for
music
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, simply because,
music
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or performing all over the world show a big range of
music
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styles which rely on culture, location or language.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
everyone
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is able to enjoy the beauty of
music
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from melody, rhythm without language knowledge.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I and my friends love listening to Japanese
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs

It seems that song may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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from manga, a
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons

It seems that cartoon may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in Japanese style, even we do not understand the meaning but we are still happy and dance while listening to the
song
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which impacts our feeling. 

According to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea, another best example is
everyone
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sing
Wrong verb form
singing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb sing. Consider changing it.

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the ‘Happy Birthday’
song
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in birthday before blowing the candle. Even though
people
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from different countries do not speak only
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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English but
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

song
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

brings
everyone
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to celebrate a birthday party. Another reason I hold
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view,
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is similar to fashion. Some
one-hit wonder
Add a hyphen
one-hit-wonder

It appears that one-hit wonder is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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songs are still on
air
Add an article
the air

The noun phrase air seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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radio
Correct article usage
the radio

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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or
internet
Correct article usage
the internet

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

launches in remastered or covered versions.
People
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in different generations enjoy the same
song
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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different periods of time.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, The Beatles, an English rock band which popular in
’70s
Change the article
the ’70s

It appears that the article usage before ’70s is incorrect. Consider making a change.

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, I am happy to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten

The phrase following the intransitive verb listen seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

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their whole album all day and sing along with my parents, as they are a big
fan
Fix the agreement mistake
fans

It seems that fan may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of The Beatles when they are a teenager. In conclusion, I definitely believe that the variety of
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is valuable for
everyone
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, no matter where there are in the corner of the world or which age they are, young, mature or elder. The majority of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

understand and enjoy
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which is a universal interesting art piece from their experience.
Music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

connects
people
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together.
Submitted by mayokz.chalita on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Happiness
  • Health
  • Exercise
  • Spending time
  • Loneliness
  • Health problems
  • Causes
  • Solutions
  • Lifestyle
  • Priorities
  • Social interaction
  • Physical activity
  • Advancements in technology
  • Promote
  • Engaging
  • Opportunities
  • Awareness
  • Family
  • Community
What to do next:
Look at other essays: