IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that products of the
food
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 and the drink have a high level of
sugars
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 which causes a lot of disadvantages so high
sugar
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 products should be more expensive than less
sugar
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 for the customer will select the less
sugar
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product
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. In my humble opinion, I completely agree with
this
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 topic because if the
product
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 of low
sugar
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 has a
price
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point
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 lower
then
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 the
product
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 has high
sugar
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. The customer will select the low
sugar
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product
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 rather than high
sugar
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product
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 and consumers do not have a choice of the
food
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 or the drink so companies can decrease
sugars
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 on it for the health of populations. Nowadays, the
product
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 with less
sugar
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 has a
price
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point
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 higher than the
product
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 which has high
sugars
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.
Thus
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, the companies must adjust the
price
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.
For instance
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, Thailand has a lot of healthy
food
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 and drink which are non-
sugar
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 and low calories but the
price
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point
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 a quite high
such
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 as
food
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 healthy which have an average
price
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 of about 150 - 200 bath or the fruits which non-
sugar
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 or organic which has the
price
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point
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 average 100 - 150 bath.
However
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, most people would like to select the low
sugar
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product
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 but the
price
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point
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 is high so they choose the
price
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 which is low and exercise rather than buy the non-
sugar
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product
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 which the
price
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 high.
Furthermore
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, consume of the people depense on the
product
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 from manufacturers because they can not control it without their owner. A good case in
this
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point
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 , the restaurant of employment in Central company have a policy which decreases
sugars
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 in the
food
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 and concern the health problem of the employee. In conclusion, I really agree with the
company
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company's
show examples
 need to adjust the
price
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 of low
sugar
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 has declined and increased the
price
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 of the
product
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 of high
sugar
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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