IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Some
people
 claim that music brings distinct
ages
 and ethnicity of community in a convenient way. Personally, I agree with
this
 idea as it is unifying the public from all over the world. During these years, many youths have listened to the tune and, most of the excellent and well-known
songs
 are favourable by the crowd even though they have no knowledge about the lyrics that the singers sing but the harmony is pleasing in their spirits.
Furthermore
, they will be more enthusiastic and motivated to learn different languages as they would like to communicate with the
songs
 better.
Moreover
, knowing the different languages is much easier for them to connect with the public from similar cultures and
ages
. There is no doubt that there is no discrimination and criticism in singing as voice is the major thing that affects the artists the most.
For instance
, a person who is breathtaking in terms of appearances but, cannot sing.
In addition
, she is not qualified enough to be a successful and well-known singer since she does not have good control of her voice and, the public will not support her as they know that she lacks in singing. To conclude, music makes
people
 more connected to each other
although
 they have divergent cultures and
ages
 altogether. I strongly believe that singing brings community from all over the world since it is not undeniable that
people
 cannot reject the
songs
 which are really sweet in their souls
although
 they don’t know the language.
For instance
, k –pop idols are preferred by
people
 who have unfamiliar cultures and distinct
ages
 as their
songs
 are delightful and pleasant for them
Submitted by netflixhere1320 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: