Some people think that to spend time on professional development is more important while others argue that we should use more time with families. Which one do you agree? To discuss both and give your opinion.

#people #time #development #families

It is irrefutable that time is the most expensive and valuable property of each other. Some individuals believe that we should pay more attention to the professional career. Others,

however

, are of the opinion that family deserves more time and attention than job improvement. In the following ,paragraphs I intend to delve into both variants and write my attitude about them. There are many benefits of spending more time on your own career.

First

of all, everybody knows that money is an indispensable resource in our

life

Secondly

, a job or business with a high salary is the

well

Change the adverb

good

show examples

possibility to provide a good

life

to you and to your relatives. You can give financial help and support to your family.

For example

, most families contain grandparents and babies who do not have

Change the article

the

show examples

ability to work.

Therefore

, you can supply them with a comfortable house, healthy food, higher education and other vitally important things by

high

Add an article

the high

show examples

paid

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

Although

, the

second

viewpoint has

also

many advantages in other aspects. If you pay more attention to your family and relatives, it can develop a close relationship between you. Some people say that a good relationship with family is one criterion of happiness.

For instance

, even if you have billions, you can not feel fulfilment and real happiness without a solid connection with family.

This

statement is approved by many successful, rich people.

Nevertheless

, it is necessary to take into account all the details of each individual case. To conclude, both viewpoints have certain advantages in their own aspects. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

family is the most important and valuable wealth of our

life

However

, we should to aware that a professional career is the ability to make your family

life

better.

Submitted by Danial on Sun Feb 27 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In our era, advertising is becoming more and more aggressive and targeted even at children. There is an opinion that such activities can have a negative influence on youngsters and must be banned. It is agreed that kids aimed advertising is not a boon and should be abolished. This essay will shed some light on the issue and provide the writer's point of view.
6.5
band
These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past, do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, due to the developments and globalization, ordinary people are also able to travel overseas more than previous generations. Although, tourism can be a benefit for countries, travelling abroad with new developments such as aeroplanes might have its own drawbacks. This essay will discuss both views and conclude which side of the argument outweighs the other.
5
band
Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this day and age, it is a common belief that university students had better be imposed on attending classes, while others enunciate the idea that it may be better for them to have the right to go to classes on their own. From my perspective, I concur with the latter opinion.
6
band
There is still a certain section of the society which lives under poverty despite the fact that countries where people belonging to this section live are becoming richer.Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer members?
Throughout the world, there is still plenty of poor populations despite the fact that in these countries the majority of people live on welfare and continue increasing their wealth. I personally believe that this condition happened because of government policy and the rich community can help by giving funds to a variety of charities.
4.5
band
It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.
It is critical for all people, including teenagers, to save money for their future. In fact, it is extraordinary for individuals to save their money for the black day. In my point of view, I agree with this occasion for two obvious reasons.

Some people think that to spend time on professional development is more important while others argue that we should use more time with families. Which one do you agree? To discuss both and give your opinion.

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past, do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is still a certain section of the society which lives under poverty despite the fact that countries where people belonging to this section live are becoming richer.Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer members?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.