many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Nowadays, a lot of individuals are spending,
the
more Correct article usage
apply
time
for
their professional careers, the Change preposition
on
lesser
Correct word choice
less
time
for
sports or social services. Which will result Change preposition
on
on
several health and mental illness. Change preposition
in
This
essay will elaborate the
advantages and disadvantages.
Change preposition
on the
Firstly
, the over
Correct your spelling
overtime
time
will benefit for financial stablise
within short span period at Correct your spelling
stabilise
workplace
. Add an article
the workplace
This
will not only impact financial
but Replace the word
finances
also
able
to get Correct word choice
enable us
the
promotions as soon as possible. Most Correct article usage
apply
of
employees are dedicating their valuable period Change preposition
apply
for
their organisation to complete the given task within Change preposition
to
allocated
schedule. Which will Correct article usage
the allocated
claim
to develop their company in Verb problem
help
competitive
industry.
Add an article
a competitive
the competitive
Conversely
, the employer will look into long-term performance rather than how long will work per day. If workers have not been able to perform well due to
health issues, management will terminate them or de-promote from
their current positions because of excessive young Correct pronoun usage
them from
talents
. Fix the agreement mistake
talent
This
is called smart work is key
Add an article
the key
a key
success
Change preposition
to success
for
Change preposition
in
modern
world rather than hard work. Add an article
the modern
Moreover
, the staff will be affected mentally because they may isolate
from their family, friends and daily life cycle. Once they have Wrong verb form
be isolated
been
felt Unnecessary verb
apply
loness
, Correct your spelling
lonely
thereafter
it will impact psychologically
. Correct pronoun usage
them psychologically
On the other hand
, physical exercise is more important to keep everyone healthy and freshness
Replace the word
fresh
although
blood circulation, Correct word choice
and swating
swating
are dynamic factors to run our Correct your spelling
sweating
swatting
day to day
movements Add a hyphen
day-to-day
otherwise
we will not get self-motivate from our inner mind. In my personal life, I have been actively jorking
weekly five days Correct your spelling
working
five days
and Remove the redundancy
apply
also
monthly once going to new
place with my neighbours which Add an article
a new
are
impacting me to love Correct subject-verb agreement
is
my self
.
Correct your spelling
myself
Talking
into consideration, each person should spend sufficient Correct your spelling
Taking
time
for non job
related activities Add a hyphen
non-job
such
as volunttinee
for social services, physical exercise, Correct your spelling
volunteering
spend
sufficient Wrong verb form
spending
time
with family and friends and
etc.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by ay on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow and structure of your essay by organizing your ideas in a more cohesive manner.
task achievement
Work on providing a more comprehensive response to the task by addressing both advantages and disadvantages in detail. Use specific and relevant examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to improve the lexical resource of your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to enhance the grammatical range of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!