Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation has more advantages or more disadvantages?

In
this
modern scenario,many
individuals
are busy with their occupations,so they do not have
an
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apply
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enough
time
to do other activities as they should concentrate on their tasks.
This
essay will discuss both merits and demerits of
this
phenomenon. To embark on,there are some benefits of spending most of the
time
at workplaces.
Firstly
,they can earn more income by doing a task consistently.
Consequently
,they might have a good life by purchasing
that
Correct word choice
what
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they need.
For instance
,these days,many
individuals
easily
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are easily
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attracted
towards
Change preposition
to
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jobs which will be provided
a
Add the preposition
with a
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decent salary,so
this
is one of the main
reason
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reasons
show examples
for allowing
people
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
long hours.
Secondly
,
people
can overcome boredom as they
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
with their projects.
for example
,many
individuals
are getting bored in their free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
since there is nothing a new avenue to pass their
time
. On another hand,there are
also
numerous drawbacks of working the whole day.
Initially
,the brain will be troubled with more working tensions if that work is not done by the user.
Furthermore
,sometimes relationships may be spoiled since they do not create
time
for them.
Additionally
,they do not take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper food from
time
to
time
.
As a result
,
people
migh
Correct your spelling
might
be suffered
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hunger.
Consequently
,it will result in unhealthy problems.
For example
,
people
have a deadline to complete their works,so for
this
reason,they will not consume
untill
Correct your spelling
until
the work
finished
Add a missing verb
is finished
show examples
,
therefore
it creates a hungry. To conclude,
although
this
phenomenon has merits,demerits are more than the benefits.The pros not only ensure more income but
also
provide reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boredom.The cons are stress,unhealthy and
spoil
Wrong verb form
spoiled
show examples
realtionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
.Many
individuals
try to balance both tasks working places as well as leisure activities.
Submitted by anushachenna15 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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