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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to higher positions. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples.

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Determining the fairness of the
promotion
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 of
staff
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 is an ongoing debate among people. Some advocate that a
staff
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 member who has a long career in a certain
company
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 should be promoted
first
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.
On the other hand
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, others counter the arguments suggesting it is not fair to other
staff
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 members. A close examination will clearly demonstrate why a
staff
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 who contributed most to a
company
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 should be promoted
first
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.
First
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, it is better in the long run for a
company
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 to reward an employee who made a lot more profit. The
company
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 or the owner of it can evoke the
staff
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's willingness whose made better results to
work
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 more and harder by rewarding more than others.
For example
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, the
staff
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 who was expected to earn 50 dollars but actually made 100 dollars will feel very happy if he received a reward for 100 dollars.
Also
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, he will
work
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 more and make more profit for the
company
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 because he will think that the
company
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 will reward as much as the results he made. Together with, other employees who saw
this
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 rewarding system will begin to try to make more successions in order to take more rewards from the
company
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 phenomenon will lead to the
company
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's success.
Second
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,
company
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 members may lose their motivation for
work
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 if the leader of the
company
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 gives a
promotion
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 to another member who just took a place longer. As I have mentioned earlier, willingness to
work
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 more and better is important to run the
company
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 longer.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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promotion
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 method, promoting workers who worked longer, may cause others to not want to
work
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 more.
For instance
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, employees can think that it is better to avoid a venture because they may think it can not lead to a
promotion
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 or other rewards.
Also
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, they may think that simply working longer without any venture is a safer way to get rewards or be promoted.
Therefore
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,
this
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 situation may reduce the overall creativity of the
company
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 and may affect the
company
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 badly in the long term. To sum up, determining a sequence of promotions by the duration of employment is bad for the future of the
company
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 because employees may lose the will to
work
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 harder if the
company
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 has the policy.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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