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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
As currently published by The Times, most people widely believe that external variables
such
 as
media
 plays the most significant factor affecting the
development
 process of kids.
However
, another group is of view that family is the main factor
instead
. In my opinion, while a
children
Change noun form
child's
show examples
development
 is in fact affected by a lot of factors, I concur with the opinion that family is the most prominent variable;
however
,
this
 essay will explore both aspects of the discussion. On one hand,
media
 is believed to
Change the verb form
have
show examples
be have
Correct your spelling
behave
show examples
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 influence on
children
.
For instance
,
children
 may find
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
/her aspiration to be a singer by watching talent shows on TV. Apart from television,
children
also
 spend plenty of time listening to music and watching
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 educational videos at certain online streaming services.
However
, it depends on the quality of the content. If the content they consume is educational, it will help the
children
 to become good boys and girls.
Conversely
, should they be exposed to improper
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
, it might negatively impact their character
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, family life remains the heart of early psychological
development
.
Children
 are unlikely to have much access to any kind of
media
 in their early years when researchers say the majority of personality formation occurs. The
basis
Replace the word
basic
show examples
 values
such
 as respect, discipline and right behaviour can only be taught by responsible parents. If parents are strict, unforgiving and withhold their love
then
children
 begin to either turn inwards feeling rejected or strive compulsively for their parent’s esteem. These early, learned behaviours will manifest themselves in progressively more unhealthy behaviours and evolve as the
child
 matures.
Conversely
, a
child
 who is loved unconditionally but given honest feedback from their parents has a much greater chance of becoming a well-adjusted adult with strong role models to imitate. To conclude, despite the fact that factors external
such
 as
media
 have an impact on a
child
's
development
,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 has the most significant potential to turn a
child
 into a well-behaved adult.
Submitted by nadita.ayudya on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
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