Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public healthand that other measure are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #healthand #measure

Our wellbeing and

health

is an urgent

matter

Fix the agreement mistake

matters

show examples

that should be taken care of, consciously. There are measures that can be forced by the government to boost the public

health

of all their citizen altogether. Adding more facilities is a solution,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

there are other

measure

Change the wording

measures

show examples

that

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be done simultaneously.

First

of all, installing new and technologically advanced

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities might help.

This

is the simplest way to provide more

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

and access to

people

. More stadiums, jogging tracks, and gyms that are accessible for everyone will certainly serve as alternatives to working out at home.

Change preposition

show examples

addition to that, these places will work as an external factor to push

people

, knowing that there are no excuses anymore as all are provided without us having to spend a big budget. Other measures are needed,

however

, as building those extra public places can only help to an extent.

Health

and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

ministry or related institutions need to campaign the benefit of working out as well, telling the success stories of

people

that managed to improve their quality of life through being active. They can

also

work together with private gyms and sport-person or athletes for

this

matter. Social media is a powerful tool to advertise something and

people

tend to follow some key opinion leaders that they trust anyway. My take on

this

issue is all these measures are to be done at the same time. We need to create a society or an ecosystem where sports are encouraged and provide a safe space to do so. More

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

complex and lifestyle campaigns are key factors to bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

to a better state.

Submitted by putraazhiz14 on Wed Mar 02 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public healthand that other measure are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people belive that advertising has a strong effect on a person's decision-making process. Other people believe that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some companies spend a lot of money on scientific research and use animals for testing. Many argue that this is for a just cause while others say otherwise. Do the advantages of using animals in research outweigh its disadvantages?

In today’s fast-paced world, many individuals struggle with delaying or postponing tasks. Give a cause and an effective solution for this

In coutries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?