IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phones #cellphones #apps #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the amount number of questions received by the office of tourist information in one city between January 2011 and
June
Use synonyms
 2011. As an overview, the most significant noticeable is the upward trend in enquiries by face to face and by phone was the dramatic increase in the middle of the year, while other enquiries by post or email presented a decline. According to the details, enquiries in person was only 400
cases
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 enormously rose to 600 in February and 800 in March.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the growth went up to 1,200 in April before reaching its peak of almost 2,000
cases
Use synonyms
 in
June
Use synonyms
. In terms of questioning via call centre, the
cases
Use synonyms
 were accounted for around 900 at the beginning of the year and slightly dropped to 800 in February,
then
Linking Words
 rose to 1,000 before remaining stable until April.
Finally
Linking Words
, hit the most amount in
June
Use synonyms
 at 1,600
cases
Use synonyms
.
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
cases
Use synonyms
 by mail were gradually fell from approximately 790 in January to under 400 in May and maintained at the same level in
June
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mayokz.chalita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: