IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#‘travel #mind’
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Young
people
Use synonyms
 are experts at using social
media
Use synonyms
, even in school. What are some of the positive effects of using social
media
Use synonyms
 in the classroom? As a study shows, 57.6% of the world's population uses social
media
Use synonyms
 and the average daily usage is 2 hours and 27 minutes. From the all the year groups, teenagers are the greatest contributors to
this
Linking Words
 huge population. We can see teenagers using their devices everywhere, no matter at home or in schools.
Although
Linking Words
 using social
media
Use synonyms
 is still
frown
Change the form of the verb
frowned
show examples
 upon in schools,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some teachers have already started to reconsider the idea.
As using
Change preposition
Using
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 in classes has many positive effects on the
students
Use synonyms
. One of the many positive effects of social
media
Use synonyms
 is the extended knowledge of
students
Use synonyms
. As
students
Use synonyms
 can use different apps to search for information and they can find different mentors and training programs online. With them,
students
Use synonyms
 can learn new skills and take steps toward their future career goals.
For example
Linking Words
, on YouTube,
students
Use synonyms
 can find free tutorials to improve in certain subjects. On Pinterest, they can find new inspiration for their projects and on Instagram, they can post their progress and their results. Another thing is that social
media
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 to become more supportive toward others. Since many
people
Use synonyms
 share their personal experience online or their struggles and
students
Use synonyms
 can show their support by encouraging them through messages and comments. By supporting others,
students
Use synonyms
 can become more supportive and teachers can use social
media
Use synonyms
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to support certain programs.
For example
Linking Words
, donation programs for organizations
such
Linking Words
 as WWF or the Red Cross.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, social
media
Use synonyms
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 to find
people
Use synonyms
 with different ideas. The good thing about social
media
Use synonyms
 is that it helps
people
Use synonyms
 to find others with different opinions and in
this
Linking Words
 way,
students
Use synonyms
 can learn about new ways of thinking. They can
also
Linking Words
 learn about how
people
Use synonyms
 outside the school might have thought and
act
Wrong verb form
acted
show examples
 so they can be more prepared when they left the school themselves. To conclude, using social
media
Use synonyms
 in classes can help
students
Use synonyms
 in many different ways. It serves as a complementary part to teaching, a perfect example for the
students
Use synonyms
 to become more supportive, and a way to connect
students
Use synonyms
 with the rest of the world. Maybe someday in the future,
students
Use synonyms
 are allowed to use social
media
Use synonyms
 in classes and their way of thinking could be improved correspondently.
Submitted by lucy1119 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: