IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that media should not report detail of crimes to the public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #report #detail #crimes
Some
people
 believe that information about
crimes
 which is delivered by media is not important to announce for society. I totally disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement.
Also
,
this
 information will be an effort to prevent
this
 accident
happening
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
 again in the future and lead to negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 for perpetrators. These will be discussed by me in the forthcoming paragraphs. Many
people
 avoid
crimes
 coming to them because it brings some negative impacts to victims.
Moreover
, detail is really crucial as a basic knowledge to them since it contains
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
detail
such
 as physical
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
 of doers and crime
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Then
, viewers who watch the news about
crimes
 can arrange
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 strategies
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against it.
For instance
,
woman
Add an article
a woman
the woman
show examples
 who
wear
Change the verb form
wears
show examples
 sling
bag
Fix the agreement mistake
bags
show examples
 will put their bag in front of
her
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 where they can oversee it. Talking to another reason,
Add an article
the description
show examples
description
Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
show examples
 related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
crimes
 will be displayed in the programmes.
Furthermore
, watchers are able to know about it. They will know who
people
 are, where
people
 live and other details about it. It is believed that it can bring negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 to perpetrators owing to the fact that society can build social punishment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them. According to research which is conducted by
Indonesian
Correct article usage
an Indonesian
show examples
 NGO, 80% community treats doers bad as they feel shame due to the accidents. For me, the explanation can educate society to aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
crimes
.
That is
 why it is really essential to report.
In addition
, it is able to support investigation which is done by police to find the truth. To conclude,
people
 think that programmes should not reveal
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
. In my opinion, I
Add a missing verb
am convince
show examples
convince
Wrong verb form
convinced
show examples
 to differ from it.
Community
Add an article
The community
show examples
 has to know about it so that they can set up some ways to avoid it and it
also
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 to chary effect for
people
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: