IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that media should not report detail of crimes to the public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #report #detail #crimes
Some
people
 believe that information about
crimes
 which is delivered by media is not important to announce for society. I totally disagree
to
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with
show examples
this
 statement.
Also
,
this
 information will be an effort to prevent
this
 accident
happening
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from happening
show examples
 again in the future and lead to negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 for perpetrators. These will be discussed by me in the forthcoming paragraphs. Many
people
 avoid
crimes
 coming to them because it brings some negative impacts to victims.
Moreover
, detail is really crucial as a basic knowledge to them since it contains
the
Correct article usage
apply
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detail
such
 as physical
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
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 of doers and crime
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Then
, viewers who watch the news about
crimes
 can arrange
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 strategies
to
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apply
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against it.
For instance
,
woman
Add an article
a woman
the woman
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 who
wear
Change the verb form
wears
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 sling
bag
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bags
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 will put their bag in front of
her
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 where they can oversee it. Talking to another reason,
Add an article
the description
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description
Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
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 related
with
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to
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crimes
 will be displayed in the programmes.
Furthermore
, watchers are able to know about it. They will know who
people
 are, where
people
 live and other details about it. It is believed that it can bring negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 to perpetrators owing to the fact that society can build social punishment
to
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for
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 them. According to research which is conducted by
Indonesian
Correct article usage
an Indonesian
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 NGO, 80% community treats doers bad as they feel shame due to the accidents. For me, the explanation can educate society to aware
about
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of
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crimes
.
That is
 why it is really essential to report.
In addition
, it is able to support investigation which is done by police to find the truth. To conclude,
people
 think that programmes should not reveal
about
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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information
of
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about
show examples
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
. In my opinion, I
Add a missing verb
am convince
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convince
Wrong verb form
convinced
show examples
 to differ from it.
Community
Add an article
The community
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 has to know about it so that they can set up some ways to avoid it and it
also
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 to chary effect for
people
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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