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At the present time the population of some countries include a relatively large in a number of young adults ,compared with the number of old people. Do the advantage situation out with the disadvantages.

#time #population #countries #adults #people #advantage #situation
In some
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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nation
Add a comma
,nation
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 the ratio of adult
people
 is increasing nowadays compared to the senior citizens. In my
view
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,view
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 the message situation offers both benefits as well as drawbacks.My inclinations are elaborated in the upcoming paragraph .
To begin
 with , there are numerous benefits for having a large number of adults in some nations is increasing trend of country development . Because , youngsters have enough knowledge about the advancement so f technology and
also
 they are more creative , energetic and motivated
people
 than the elderly group.the
second
 advantage for a young population
are
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is
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 that they would easily adapt the modern technology and learn new skills quickly.
This
 is beneficial for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 not only their
nation
 but
also
this
nation
 which is recently in
a
Remove the article
apply
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lower unemployment
such
 as Japan and Brazil .
On the other hand
 , there are a few drawbacks of above mention situation . The biggest negative point is the fierce competition between adults to reach
a specific positions
Correct the article-noun agreement
specific positions
a specific position
show examples
.
For example
 , many young
people
 tend to take risks and start
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new business with less experience and knowledge of them . In
this
 situation, some businesses can fail because of poor management and knowledge .
In other words
, management plays a vital role in the
nation
 . In conclusion , I believe that both age groups
people
 need in the
nation
 because of the management and society development .
Submitted by writingpractice233 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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