IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports
It is true that there are extreme sports both indoors and outdoors. While some people argue that
such
 extreme activities be stopped, others argue that it should be solely one's choice. In the below essay I will discuss both viewpoints and explain why I support the latter.
Firstly
, some people with tender hearts get frightened due to the gruesome
sport
. These people are only against sports that do not have set rules.
For example
, even though wrestling tournaments are conducted for entertainment, sometimes things get out of hand, and it ends in a really bad situation.
Moreover
, some of these events are telecasted on television which could harm children at a young age.
On the other hand
, I believe everyone should be given a fair chance in choosing their
sport
.
Although
 there are a few dangerous events as stated earlier, the participants are into it by their will.
For instance
, some tend to enjoy Formula One racing without knowing the danger in the
sport
.
However
, it is the driver's wish to be behind the wheels at that speed.
In contrast
, if some are asked to only participate in play with restricted rules,
then
 there would not be much thrill in that. To sum up, some do think there should be certain restrictions to sporting activities, I tend to agree that it is one's choice to opt for the
sport
 they like.
Submitted by Suji Roselet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: