Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that competition
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
sports have benefits on young
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
education whilst other opinions state there might be downsides. There is no doubt excess
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
competitiveness may cause several issues
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
teenagers but it
also
enhances their
ambitious
Replace the word
ambition
show examples
and resilience towards the world. On one hand, there are those who agree on how powerful the effects of sport are in our daily perspective, as truly helps to perceive more self-security, strength, and willpower. That means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
teenagers will be capable to develop an instinct that enables them to face
this
challenging world we now live in.
Additionally
,
this
“competitive
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
mind-set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
” encourages them to improve and pushes them forward.
On the other hand
, if
this
sense of competence is misunderstood in an unhealthy way, which basically means having a feeling of overpressure, troubles might appear. If they end up believing these games are a battle for power rather than a funny experience, the line has been crossed. Aggressivity has a big role to play and it is definitely the boundary when conflict and arguments arise. I personally believe that, if competitive sports are well-focused and planned, they should not be a big deal. I think before or after each training a speech should be given in order to prevent conflicts between them. Competitive and respect values that ensure peace and companionship are, without any doubt, essential lessons. To conclude, competitive sports could be either potentially useful or violent, the point is how we teach teenagers to practice them, and which principles are linked to it. It is probably true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
providing them
an
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
appropriate instruction, benefits could outweigh downsides.
Submitted by mariamdedeu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: