IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

#salary #factor #job
It is argued that a satisfying income would be regarded as the most vital part when facing a career, especially for young
people
. As far as I am concerned, I partly agree with
this
 opinion. A good salary is definitely necessary for
people
 who are desperate for a good life.
This
 is because it would support basic living needs.
For instance
, food, rent and all the bills are all needed to pay in
this
 society , and high living expenses push
people
 to choose a good position which can provide a better salary,
therefore
 so many young
people
 would priority good money when choosing
work
. Meanwhile, except for the surviving, many
people
 have to afford a family which a high salary is dispensable for supporting the children's education or parents' caring fee.
On the other hand
, there are other significant factors that
people
 will consider when deciding on a job.
Firstly
, working environment and good colleague relationships
also
 play a positive role in
work
, which will improve job satisfaction and
work
 quality. Apart from that, a sense of
work
 achievement and learning something from
work
 are valued by some
people
. Since professionals will achieve a huge fulfilment from
work
.
Finally
, some
people
 are willing to
work
 in charity for free , because they just enjoy the feeling of helping
people
 and society. In conclusion, a decent income is a factor in choosing a career, but it is not always the most vital consideration. Since
people
 will choose a job from their own preferences and situations.
Submitted by 119220432 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: