IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation has more advantages or more disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The majority of people prefer to be employed for long durations while they just allocate a few times to enjoy activities which can make themselves relax. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 situation contains more drawbacks to them. They will feel very
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 and have limited relation to their surrounding environment. I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
it in the forthcoming paragraphs. Employees spend a lot of time
to finish
Change the verb form
finishing
show examples
 their assignments.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is happen because they believe that they have responsibilities in their occupations.
Then
Linking Words
, they arrange formulas and strategies to support it where it needs deep thinking.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 condition encourages them to be unhappy owing to the fact that they have
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
show examples
 load in their work. According to Alamanda Research Institution which conducted
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 100 correspondents consisting of workers in diverse fields, almost 80%
Change preposition
of laborers
show examples
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
 did not enjoy their working life. Talking to another reason, workers who are spent many hours
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their office have limited communication to their surrounding environment even though they do not have to go to their institution due to pandemic restriction so they only have activities in their
work rooms
Correct your spelling
workrooms
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they focus on their task and do not think much about others.
This
Linking Words
 condition is likely that they isolate themselves from outside. As social creatures, it makes humans feel lonely.
Hence
Linking Words
, they still need to connect with communities.
For instance
Linking Words
, managers who have a lot of meetings with their colleagues will pass some events to their inhabitants where they are able to see their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. To sum up, putting many times to be employed leads to down merits for officers where it triggers to stress and sets up boundaries for them in terms of communication to others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: