Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

Artists these days are much more recognized for their glitz and fame than

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

for their actual accomplishments, which sets a negative example to the younger generation. I disagree with that as not everyone is known for their glam and fortune but is famous for their

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

Firstly

Linking Words

, I would discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

how

celebrities

Use synonyms

play a vital role in the younger generation as many take them to be their inspiration and

secondly

Linking Words

, not only

Use synonyms

celebrities

Add a missing verb

do celebrities

show examples

make money, they

also

Linking Words

do charities and help in need.

Celebrities

Use synonyms

play

vital

Add an article

a vital

show examples

role in modern society. More recently, there have been many superstars who have become famous for their talents in singing,

sports

Correct word choice

and sports

show examples

Celebrities

Use synonyms

can be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

persons from the entertainment industry, sports and even politicians. Significant

celebrities

Use synonyms

can spread any ideas and

Verb problem

apply

show examples

trends around the world; Not all the trends that go in having huge views

Change preposition

show examples

any social media platform have a positive note on today’s young generation, but people like Michelle Obama

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

her Podcast on YouTube and Spotify whose words are true inspiration.

Furthermore

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

do good deeds which help many. Teens these days have a biased

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, in order to have

Change the article

show examples

positive vision

Change preposition

show examples

life Some

celebrities

Use synonyms

do donate their wealth to charities,

many

Correct word choice

and many

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

talk about their ways of achieving their dreams but they

also

Linking Words

support

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers to dream big and achieve them.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, they might not always have good

deed

Fix the agreement mistake

deeds

show examples

; after

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

they are humans too. BTS have millions of fans across the globe; BTS have made

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact on fans. They inspired them

having

Change the verb form

to have

show examples

dreams, love themselves and help others. BTS have donated million

dollars

Change preposition

of dollars

show examples

since the pandemic

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started.

To conclude

Linking Words

Celebrities

Use synonyms

world revolve around glow and money but there are instances where

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

work

inspired

Wrong verb form

inspires

show examples

many young people

in pursuing

Change preposition

to pursue

show examples

their dreams. Judging them by their roles they do is wrong as they are humans too and they too make mistakes.

pravleen97

Mar 4, 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

People are living in a “throwaway society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?

Some people believe that certain old buildings should be preserved more than others. What types of old buildings should be preserved? Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this

You are renting an apartment. Write a letter to your landlord regarding a noise problem from your neighbors. Include the following in your letter: – What is the problem? – What have you done about it? – What would you like the landlord to do?