IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can you suggest?Write at least 250 words

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
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Lacking time for
education
Use synonyms
 and constantly feeling under pressure
as a result
Linking Words
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 work while studying
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
happens for some
students
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
 happens in some developed countries, and there are two major causes for
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the culture in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries requires
students
Use synonyms
 to be independent. The
student
Use synonyms
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to prove
tha
Correct your spelling
that
 they
already grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have already grown
show examples
 up and chose to live
seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
 from the family.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
 result in
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 all of their need by their own effort including
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, food, and
education
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the expense for
education
Use synonyms
 in those countries is higher and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those
students
Use synonyms
 from ineligible
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 need to work to help their parents. To solve the problem, there are three solutions that I can offer.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
student
Use synonyms
 can take a
student
Use synonyms
 loan from the Bank and pay it after they graduate and have a job,
this
Linking Words
 way can
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a
student
Use synonyms
 focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their study.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the country can make more scholarships so the
student
Use synonyms
 with an excellent
achievment
Correct your spelling
achievement
 can continue their
education
Use synonyms
 without worrying
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 cost of living and
education
Use synonyms
. The
last
Linking Words
, The big company can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 their CSR to covered the cost of
education
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
 from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 so they can filter their
next
Linking Words
 employee from that program.
This
Linking Words
 can be used in Indonesia as well.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
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