Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays social network has gained popularity in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and not only teenagers but
also
middle age people
share
their daily life with the risks that it has. I believe that the risks depend on which social media personal
information
is shared. We all know that there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
social networks in which the
users
share
photos, thoughts and locations and in my opinion that could be dangerous.
For instance
, there are
users
who
share
their own location on holidays in streaming, and they are not aware that,
this
simple fact could lead to criminal acts or robberies.
Although
alarm systems are increasing recently, burglars are trained to disconnect them
Nevertheless
,
this
is only an example of the high risks things that could happen in fact, there is another dangerous reason to avoid sharing personal lives, and it is when people
share
their children's pictures. "Deep-web" has been recently discovered and it is a kind of forbidden internet in which
users
can find the most horrible things related to the human being, and in
this
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
there is a black market with
chilndren
Correct your spelling
children
organ's trafficking. In my opinion, that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the main reason why people should not
share
their personal lives and specifically children's lives.
However
, there are
also
social networks in which the kind of
information
uploaded could give society benefits, there is an example in which platforms like Linkedin could help
users
to find a job, in
this
case
Add the comma(s)
,case
show examples
I believe that sharing
information
had more advantages than disadvantages or
for instance
business Instagram accounts. These Instagram accounts are useful to make a free advertisement for your business, and no matter how well-known it is, the Instagram algorithm would make it famous. In my opinion, there are a lot of dangerous social networks in which
customer's
Fix the agreement mistake
customers'
show examples
personal
information
is not safe but
otherwise
, others have restricted rules in relationship with data and personal
information
.
Submitted by melisa.siverio on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: