Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks

Nowadays social network has gained popularity in

Correct article usage

apply

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society and not only teenagers but

also

middle age people

their daily life with the risks that it has. I believe that the risks depend on which social media personal

information

is shared. We all know that there are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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social networks in which the

users

photos, thoughts and locations and in my opinion that could be dangerous.

For instance

, there are

users

who

their own location on holidays in streaming, and they are not aware that,

this

simple fact could lead to criminal acts or robberies.

Although

alarm systems are increasing recently, burglars are trained to disconnect them

Nevertheless

this

is only an example of the high risks things that could happen in fact, there is another dangerous reason to avoid sharing personal lives, and it is when people

their children's pictures. "Deep-web" has been recently discovered and it is a kind of forbidden internet in which

users

can find the most horrible things related to the human being, and in

this

case

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,case

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there is a black market with

chilndren

Correct your spelling

children

organ's trafficking. In my opinion, that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the main reason why people should not

their personal lives and specifically children's lives.

However

, there are

also

social networks in which the kind of

information

uploaded could give society benefits, there is an example in which platforms like Linkedin could help

users

to find a job, in

this

case

Add the comma(s)

,case

show examples

I believe that sharing

information

had more advantages than disadvantages or

for instance

business Instagram accounts. These Instagram accounts are useful to make a free advertisement for your business, and no matter how well-known it is, the Instagram algorithm would make it famous. In my opinion, there are a lot of dangerous social networks in which

customer's

Fix the agreement mistake

customers'

show examples

personal

information

is not safe but

otherwise

, others have restricted rules in relationship with data and personal

information

Submitted by melisa.siverio on Fri Mar 04 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your sister has been in the hosptial for a week .During this time, you have noticed the meals they are providing for her are very poor qulity . write an email to the hosptial manager and include the following things.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease , governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays men sport is given far more attention in the society than women sport. What are the reasons? Do you think is it a positive or negative situation?

Some people think it is one of the best ways to solve the environmental problems by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter:  explain why you need this time off  give details of when you want this time off  say who can do your work when you are away