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Writing Samples
Band 4

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as learning tool, which is why children are less educated today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#children #time #television #book #tool
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Nowadays,
children
Use synonyms
 dedicated
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 amount of
time
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 to watching
TV
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 programs, cartoons or movies
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of studying their subjects. As a consequence,
children
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 gained much less knowledge than
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
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 generation, who had grown without
television
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to some extent In
era
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an era
the era
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 of modernisation and
invention
Add a comma
,invention
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 almost every household consist
one
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of one
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 or more
television
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.
Furthemore
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Furthermore
,
persom
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person
persons
 who are born in 2000nds can watch
TV
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 from infancy to adulthood what can lead huge
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as addiction from
TV
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 programmes and
unwillingnes
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unwillingness
willingness
 to study.
Linking Words
Additionally
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,Additionally
show examples
 it can create
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
problems related
with
Change preposition
to
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 socialisation, which
also
Linking Words
influnce
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influence
influenced
 to
studying
Correct article usage
the studying
show examples
 process. It is well-known fact that
TV
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 is not able to alter books, which
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
a tons
Correct the article-noun agreement
a ton
tons
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 of knowledge, which should be gained by pupils during their studying process. Lack of
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
 to study
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 in school is wasting
time
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 at home. It means that parents
also
Linking Words
 have responsibilities to
children
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's habits.
However
Linking Words
, spending much
time
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 in front of
Use synonyms
television
Correct article usage
the television
show examples
not
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is not
show examples
 only about disadvantages and distractors to study. It is the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
television
Correct article usage
the television
show examples
 industry published scientific programmes, related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 main subjects in schools, that improve their outlook. In case parents keep an eye
after
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own child they would choose appropriate
TV
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 shows. To conclude, despite the huge problems caused in
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
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 school life by wasting
time
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 in front of
Use synonyms
television
Add an article
the television
a television
show examples
, parents can change its
influnce
Correct your spelling
influence
 to
children
Use synonyms
 by choosing suitable shows, forcing a sense of
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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