IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is beneficial for both employers and employees if employees are given longer holidays away from work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#employers #employees #holidays #work
There has been an ongoing debate about the usefulness of extended vacation from the job. I completely agree that there are more advantageous to have prolonged holidays for both bosses and
workers
. On the one hand, employees are increasingly aware that if they take
time
 off, they will perform better at
work
. Taking more holidays alleviates
burnouts
Fix the agreement mistake
burnout
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. So,
workers
 might find
time
 for their family or themselves.
For example
, we generally
work
 50 hours per week in Turkey. We can not get any
time
 to rest. if we
work
 less, we would spend many hours with our relatives. İt could make us happier. When we go to our
work
, we can become enthusiastic to make our job.
Thus
, our productivity may rise. İn addition, if
a
Remove the article
apply
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labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 could have any extra job, he may earn more money.
Consequently
, the quality of life would be improved. Another benefit of taking longer vacation
time
 is related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 health
such
 as lower stress and better mental health.
For instance
, some
workers
 can be suffered from stress disorders. They will not be able to make their jobs.
This
 kind of health
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 might decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity.
On the other hand
, bosses can be satisfied with
this
 situation as well.
For example
, the person will not tend to slack
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
work
 ıf the
laborer
Change the spelling
labourer
show examples
is happy.
Thus
,
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of goods would go up.
Moreover
, the worker’s focus could be improved by taking more holiday. İn conclusion, ı believe that ı completely agree there are more advantageous to have prolonged holidays for both bosses and
workers
.
Workers
 can be healthier while productivity
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
.
Submitted by ssunay2001 on

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