Transporting children to school is said to be the responsibility of the government. However, some people think this is the responsibility of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own

Right
Correct article usage
The right
show examples
to
education
is the right of each and every child. Parents and the government have equal duties and responsibilities to educate
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
transporting
children
to
school
is a huge liability especially when
children
are too young. During the mediaeval ages,
Correct your spelling
roadways
show examples
road ways
Correct your spelling
roadways
show examples
, railways and waterways were not developed and the
school
was far away from the houses. Because of
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
teenagers had to travel by
boats
Fix the agreement mistake
boat
show examples
or walk miles for the sake of
education
. Getting exhausted by long journeys was some of the negative effects which
consequently
lead
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
to back out from schooling.
However
, the government took initiatives to improve the modern world by providing schools in every suburb,
free
Change preposition
with free
show examples
access to
education
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for poor
children
. During the present modern world, with numerous access to different types of public and private schooling options
available
Add a comma
,available
show examples
there still exists the problem of transporting
children
to
school
. Public
school
does not provide the means of travelling for youth.
For instance
free
school
bus transport. Low-income earners primarily focus on earning money rather than providing
education
to their kids.
Thus
this
leads to
Add an article
a rise
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
in child labour. Private schools charge a huge amount for travelling costs.
Furthermore
, high-income earners feel unsafe for teenagers to travel alone in a
school
bus.
For example
, kids bullying cases has increased terribly during travelling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
school
buses.
In addition
to
this
parents feel dropping their
children
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
school
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
creates a bond between the parent and
children
. To conclude, it's a partial agreement of responsibility for the parents and the government together to transport
children
to
school
and it's not just the one to blame.
Submitted by zankrut on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: