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Writing Samples
Band 5

Transporting children to school is said to be the responsibility of the government. However, some people think this is the responsibility of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own

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Right
Correct article usage
The right
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 to
education
Use synonyms
 is the right of each and every child. Parents and the government have equal duties and responsibilities to educate
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 transporting
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
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 is a huge liability especially when
children
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 are too young. During the mediaeval ages,
Correct your spelling
roadways
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road ways
Correct your spelling
roadways
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, railways and waterways were not developed and the
school
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 was far away from the houses. Because of
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 teenagers had to travel by
boats
Fix the agreement mistake
boat
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 or walk miles for the sake of
education
Use synonyms
. Getting exhausted by long journeys was some of the negative effects which
consequently
Linking Words
 lead
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 to back out from schooling.
However
Linking Words
, the government took initiatives to improve the modern world by providing schools in every suburb,
free
Change preposition
with free
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 access to
education
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 for poor
children
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. During the present modern world, with numerous access to different types of public and private schooling options
available
Add a comma
,available
show examples
 there still exists the problem of transporting
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
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. Public
school
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 does not provide the means of travelling for youth.
For instance
Linking Words
 free
school
Use synonyms
 bus transport. Low-income earners primarily focus on earning money rather than providing
education
Use synonyms
 to their kids.
Thus
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 leads to
Add an article
a rise
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rise
Change the verb form
rising
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 in child labour. Private schools charge a huge amount for travelling costs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, high-income earners feel unsafe for teenagers to travel alone in a
school
Use synonyms
 bus.
For example
Linking Words
, kids bullying cases has increased terribly during travelling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 buses.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 parents feel dropping their
children
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
school
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 creates a bond between the parent and
children
Use synonyms
. To conclude, it's a partial agreement of responsibility for the parents and the government together to transport
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 and it's not just the one to blame.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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