Many people put their personal information online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Due to the prosperity of the Internet, most
people
are able to spend more and more time on different Apps to socialize.
This
mainstream of socializing has some advantages for
people’s
life,
however
, the disadvantages should be concerned. Sharing
people’s
privacy online offers some benefits for
people’s
daily routine or raising funding activities. The obvious benefit is that it is a great way to make friends with common grounds.
For example
, if
people
would like to show their personal
information
to the Netizens,
this
could leave a clear impression for other strangers.
As a result
,
people
are able to make friends through different tags, like characteristics, hobbies, habits, personal experiences, events, schools, etc.
Besides
, it helps
people
to gain fame. By posting their interesting Vlogs or Blogs of daily life, many
people
are likely to follow their social media account, which allows them to be a KOL(Key Opinion Leader) and well-known
people
in some industries.
Moreover
, it’s beneficial for
people
to raise funding by providing personal
information
. It is a popular way to organize a charity activity through the Internet by individuals nowadays, without the details about the charity and the basic background of the organizer, it would not be able to gain support from the general public.
However
, there are some drawbacks while it brings us these benefits.
Firstly
, privacy leaking can cause great negative effects on
people’s
daily life.
For example
, some hackers are active in the cyber community to build social engineering databases to collect personal
information
and create relations through different dimensions, like ID number, photo, address, phone number, email, shopping history, social account, bank account, and etc.
This
means that if they obtained
this
information
and build a network through pieces, we were probably transparent in front of them.
In addition
, easy access to others’ privacy may not suitable for some
people
, especially teenagers, since it may threaten teenagers' mental health when they have easy access to private pictures and videos which contain violent, porn, or illegal factors.
Moreover
, teenagers who are exposed to the public Internet may be under uncertain threat which leads to a heavy burden for public security. In conclusion,
although
watching others’ daily routine or personal
information
offers
people
several benefits, I agree with the view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by chefuyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • cybercrimes
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • enhanced social connectivity
  • dependence on technology
  • customised services
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • social networks
  • personal information
  • online platforms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: