IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Presently,
organization's
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations'
show examples
 cultures affect their employees. According to the experts, there are more than 1000 companies in Indonesia. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 every
company
Use synonyms
 has different regulations toward their
people
Use synonyms
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 believe that
appearance
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as dress properly, bag's designer etcetera, is crucial for
organization's
Correct article usage
an organization's
show examples
 face. It is because many of employees will change their fashion which is match perfectly to their
company
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
someone
Use synonyms
 with a good
appearance
Use synonyms
 would benefit herself to get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
show examples
. I think a handful of companies included
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appearance
Use synonyms
 as their qualifications to evaluate their employees'
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of regulation might
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy. Why?
People
Use synonyms
 mostly believe that
appearance
Use synonyms
 isn't a benchmark for
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 to calculate their
performance
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the quality of
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 is more important than the way
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 dress up.
For example
Linking Words
,
someone
Use synonyms
 who looks decent will get so much attention in his
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
 than
someone
Use synonyms
 who
carefully
Add a missing verb
has carefully
show examples
done
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 his job.
However
Linking Words
, in the end, a
performance
Use synonyms
 of
employee
Add an article
the employee
show examples
 will
proved
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
 if
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 belong to
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. Personally, I completely disagree if
someone
Use synonyms
 said that
appearance
Use synonyms
 is more crucial than the quality of the employee. Based
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my experience, a person who has high skills to work would get so much
provement
Correct your spelling
improvement
 than a person who wears high-end fashion.
In addition
Linking Words
, wearing makeup and
dress
Wrong verb form
dressing
show examples
 perfectly don't reflect their
performance
Use synonyms
 of work ethic.
This
Linking Words
 principle should be erased immediately
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
Correct quantifier usage
more concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about their physical than their brain. To conclude,
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 should revise their policies that
assuming
Wrong verb form
assume
show examples
 the physical become an essential than the way
people
Use synonyms
 on it completed their job.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of evidence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 proved that
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
performance
Use synonyms
 is the best way to evaluate a person who wants to get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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