You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Presently,
organization's
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations'
show examples
cultures affect their employees. According to the experts, there are more than 1000 companies in Indonesia. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
every
company
has different regulations toward their
people
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
believe that
appearance
such
as dress properly, bag's designer etcetera, is crucial for
organization's
Correct article usage
an organization's
show examples
face. It is because many of employees will change their fashion which is match perfectly to their
company
.
Moreover
,
someone
with a good
appearance
would benefit herself to get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
show examples
. I think a handful of companies included
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appearance
as their qualifications to evaluate their employees'
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
.
This
kind of regulation might
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy. Why?
People
mostly believe that
appearance
isn't a benchmark for
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
to calculate their
performance
. Some
people
think that the quality of
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
is more important than the way
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
dress up.
For example
,
someone
who looks decent will get so much attention in his
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
than
someone
who
carefully
Add a missing verb
has carefully
show examples
done
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
his job.
However
, in the end, a
performance
of
employee
Add an article
the employee
show examples
will
proved
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
if
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
belong to
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. Personally, I completely disagree if
someone
said that
appearance
is more crucial than the quality of the employee. Based
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
my experience, a person who has high skills to work would get so much
provement
Correct your spelling
improvement
than a person who wears high-end fashion.
In addition
, wearing makeup and
dress
Wrong verb form
dressing
show examples
perfectly don't reflect their
performance
of work ethic.
This
principle should be erased immediately
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since
people
nowadays
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
Correct quantifier usage
more concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
about their physical than their brain. To conclude,
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
should revise their policies that
assuming
Wrong verb form
assume
show examples
the physical become an essential than the way
people
on it completed their job.
Therefore
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of evidence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
proved that
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
performance
is the best way to evaluate a person who wants to get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: