IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say the cars should be banned from the centers of cities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #cars #centers #cities
Some
people
 argue that the
city
centres
 should become out of private vehicles. Personally, I partially agree with
this
 idea that banning cars from particular areas in the
city
 is all advantageous. On the one hand, keeping autos out of the
centres
 of cities is likely to reduce traffic congestion.
Moreover
, a
fewer
Correct word choice
smaller
show examples
 number of vehicles would equal less air and noise pollution which may affect citizens' health.
For example
,
people
 would be much happier on holidays even if they stay in the
city
 because the majority would travel which means no traffic and no pollution. It
also
 may decrease the number of accidents. Many office buildings are located in the
city
centre
 which results in many
people
 in rush to go to work that may cause accidents in consequence.
On the other hand
, if all cars were banned from the
centres
 of cities, there would be problems in some situations.
For instance
, in the case of an accident or illness,
people
 would face difficulties
to reach
Change preposition
in reaching
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a hospital,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are located in the
city
centre
. There are
also
people
 with disabilities that need to commute in their car,
otherwise
, they should stay home or pay someone to take them to work or other places in the
centre
.
In addition
, the population who cannot afford to live in the
city
 may face difficulties without their car or an adequate public transportation system.
Therefore
, I believe there should be ways to come to the
centre
 by
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
show examples
such
 as taxes or limitations
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the number of entrances. In conclusion, the issue of the existence of cars in the
centres
 of cities has become controversial.
While
 I agree that driving in these areas may be dangerous, I think there should be some exceptions for emergency situations.
Submitted by Sarah_nazari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task. However, ensure that you fully develop and support your main points with specific examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: