IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say the cars should be banned from the centers of cities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #cars #centers #cities
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the
city
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
 should become out of private vehicles. Personally, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea that banning cars from particular areas in the
city
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 is all advantageous. On the one hand, keeping autos out of the
centres
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 of cities is likely to reduce traffic congestion.
Moreover
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, a
fewer
Correct word choice
smaller
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 number of vehicles would equal less air and noise pollution which may affect citizens' health.
For example
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,
people
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 would be much happier on holidays even if they stay in the
city
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 because the majority would travel which means no traffic and no pollution. It
also
Linking Words
 may decrease the number of accidents. Many office buildings are located in the
city
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centre
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 which results in many
people
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 in rush to go to work that may cause accidents in consequence.
On the other hand
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, if all cars were banned from the
centres
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 of cities, there would be problems in some situations.
For instance
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, in the case of an accident or illness,
people
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 would face difficulties
to reach
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in reaching
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to
Change preposition
apply
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a hospital,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 are located in the
city
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centre
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. There are
also
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people
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 with disabilities that need to commute in their car,
otherwise
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, they should stay home or pay someone to take them to work or other places in the
centre
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.
In addition
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, the population who cannot afford to live in the
city
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 may face difficulties without their car or an adequate public transportation system.
Therefore
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, I believe there should be ways to come to the
centre
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 by
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
show examples
such
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 as taxes or limitations
to
Change preposition
on
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 the number of entrances. In conclusion, the issue of the existence of cars in the
centres
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 of cities has become controversial.
While
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 I agree that driving in these areas may be dangerous, I think there should be some exceptions for emergency situations.
Submitted by Sarah_nazari on

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coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task. However, ensure that you fully develop and support your main points with specific examples.
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