Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society . others, however , belive that school is the place to learn this.

In
this
day ,some people think that
parents
should teach
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
how to be good members of
society
other,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
believe that
school
learn
this
. overall ,it is important to teach students and age young generation is the base of any nation as an effect.
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the age of high it students need to build their self confidences and experience by doing unpaid duty by having
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
confidence they do not have to rely on people.it teacher should start programs and workshops in the
school
techingthem research shown that many schools started programs and unpaid internships give the students for their respective professional field.by doing it can have more exposure to their related fields of work.
Secondly
,
parents
want to teach their
children
.but
parents
go to work so they do not have time so they can not give the
children
too much time .but
parents
teach the
children
to be a good member of the
society
in as much time as possible. for
parents
give the
children
an activity that allows them to participate in all the activities of the
society
as well as provide knowledge.
However
,
my
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
think the
children
should through a
school
teacher because more activity in
school
has created knowledge in the
children
to become a good man and
children
can be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
in
society
.
Submitted by writingpractice233 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: