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Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

#growth #shops #towns #cities
Development is being around in every corner of the world, irrespective of the field we
people
 globally came
long
Add an article
a long
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 way by the advancement and still continuing. one of the major noticeable
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
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 in
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 is
e-commerce
Correct article usage
the e-commerce
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 business, It is argued that due to
this
 online shopping there might be a huge downfall in future on the vendors who are maintaining physical
stores
. Well, according to me there might be a slight impact but
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conventional shopping stays still even how advanced
the
Correct article usage
apply
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e-commerce may become in future. It is debatable yet; I stand with my opinion and pretty good reasons to support it. The growth of online shopping is a positive sign
on
Change preposition
of
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 how easily accessible
that
Correct word choice
apply
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things
 can be for
people
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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 we can not only get the clothes or
such
,
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apply
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 but
also
 the daily essentials for household from basic to the most important needs. Either packaged items or fresh vegetables and fruits
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will be delivered to our
door steps
Correct your spelling
doorsteps
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 within
a
Correct article usage
the
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 minimum time possible. It is a positive thing for many
people
 who can’t make time for
such
things
 due to their hectic daily schedules and their work which requires their major time. Online shopping is
also
 a huge advantage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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elderly
people
 who can’t go out and get
things
.
For example
, consider elderly parents who live by themselves won’t have enough energy or strength and many
such
 factors as sight problems due to ageing can’t simply go out daily and buy required
things
 without someone accompanying them,
this
 can be avoided by making them aware and train about the various methods of online shopping and how to use them.
People
 argue that
these online shopping
Change the determiner
this online shopping
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 might lead to
close
Wrong verb form
closing
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 the conventional
stores
 in future. I say it is a hoax
,
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apply
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 because
people
 became more health conscious
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 they go for walks in which they cover their daily groceries and will always prefer fresh and quality foods rather than ordering them
in
Change preposition
apply
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online.
People
 love to go out on their weekends some might travel but most of them do shopping conventionally go for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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departmental
stores
 or supermarkets to buy the groceries which will
last
 a
week long
Add a hyphen
week-long
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 mostly to keep them fresh. Most of the
people
 go buy clothes only after seeing the quality by themselves, with
such
 major amount of
people
 preferring to the conventional shopping there will be no
such
 thing as closing out of business due to online shopping.
For example
, Most
people
 surf on the internet for products and go for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conventional shopping requesting similar
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
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 or similar prices just to make sure that they get worthy and quality
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 which will be inconclusive through online shopping until u pay and get the product and
this
 is the huge advantage of the conventional shopping. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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 I would say I strongly disagree
of
Change preposition
with
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people
 going out of business due to online shopping because even
through
Correct your spelling
though
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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online shopping most of the products will be dispatched from the conventional
stores
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 register them as a vendor in the respective e-commerce companies.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: