IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays the
government
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 spending
money
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 on different
sectors
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 like arts,music.
However
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 ,they are spending
money
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 on public
sectors
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 but it is limited.It is agreed that the
government
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 must spend
money
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 on public services like
health
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care
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,
education
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 due to
this
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 there is an increase in economic
growth
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 in the
country
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.
Firstly
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,Healthy life is one of the significance in human life as of today's world there is a huge increase in
medicines
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 and treatments and
also
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 lack of sufficient
medicines
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, Recently, the world face a pandemic which causes loss of many peoples due to lack of
medicines
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 and overprices on medicine.if the
government
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 spent their
money
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 on these
health
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sectors
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then
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 these
medicines
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 will be available for people at a low cost.
Therefore
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 investing
money
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 in the
health
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care
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 sector provides people quality and better treatment for them. Not only in the
health
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care
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 sector but
also
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government
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 should spend
money
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 on the
education
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 sector. By funding
money
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 into
education
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 the
government
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 will provide quality and better
education
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 for every child. Some of them are not well in their financial situations so
this
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 leads to dropping out of schools and colleges.For ,instance japan has high
growth
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 in the economy because of the high literacy rate and better
education
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 standards. For providing better
education
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 the children become scholars and they invest in their
country
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 which leads to an increase in economic
growth
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. In conclusion,the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on
health
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care
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care
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 and
education
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 which have economic
growth
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 in the
country
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 and
also
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 the
country
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 will develop by investing in these types of
sectors
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.
Therefore
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 , the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on public services and
also
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 it is recommended that the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on other public
sectors
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 like the military and social
care
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sekharkoruprolu0 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
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