Today more and more full-time university students focus on other activities rather thein spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #focus #activities #thein #time #people

University

is a place where “Pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed” itself signifies the importance of

university

education. It is believed by some that participating in other

activities

Plays an important role for

university

students

Although

there are agreements on both sides, due to my own beliefs I agree that

students

can

Add a missing verb

have more

show examples

experiences by taking part in certain exercises. Even these beliefs will be discussed in support of my personal stance in the following Paragraphs. To embark on, there is no doubt for some people who prefer to pay more attention

Change the preposition

show examples

studying.

Firstly

, they believe that nowadays

university

Curriculum is lengthy and is more difficult to accomplish within a year. If they pay more focus on

then

they could pass

examination

Add an article

the examination

show examples

with high rank and get

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

show examples

get a job offer from a reputed organisation which is extremely crucial in

this

competitive era.

For example

, various studies Conducted in the USA

Correct your spelling

Confirmed

show examples

Conformed

Correct your spelling

Confirmed

show examples

that seventy per cent of

students

get their desired job after Graduation from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

colleges

Fix the agreement mistake

college

show examples

Thus

academic

Add an article

the academic

an academic

show examples

syllabus is

Change the article

apply

show examples

indispensable to

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

bright

Add an article

a bright

show examples

career. why extracurricular

activities

are essential for

university

students

? the underlying reason behind

this

is that Certain

activities

might help youngsters to connect

Society

Change preposition

to Society

show examples

and build connections with Society and s make them responsible.

For instance

, an Article Published in 'The Times’-stated that by taking part in charity work, young People could have chances to help and meet people who are in

difficult

Add an article

a difficult

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

Therefore

, it

is not only help

Change the verb form

does not only help

show examples

to nurture their kindness but

also

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would help to motivate

for

Correct pronoun usage

them for

show examples

becoming decent citizens in the future and that could help result in a decrease

crime

Change preposition

in crime

show examples

rates. To

further

corroborate

Fix the infinitive

To corroborate

show examples

the above view, Harvard

University

revealed that every

Students

Fix the agreement mistake

student

show examples

has to attend at least three social

activities

before graduating in order to improve domestic labour forces. In conclusion,

although

there are several benefits to

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

more time to the studies for

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

future, I would say that being bookish may lead

many

Change preposition

to many

show examples

health problems.

That is

why I opine that it is important to generate interest to learn non-study

activities

Submitted by sejupatel17 on Tue Mar 08 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

350 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today more and more full-time university students focus on other activities rather thein spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

ome people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries governments are investigating in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think is an appropriate use of government money?

film reviews wanted Have you seen a really exciting film recently, at teh cinema or on TV? write a review describing it and saying why you would recommend it to other people of your age

News editor decide what to to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factors do you think influence these dicisions? Do we bacame used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?